The two diagrams illustrate the main parts of a hot air balloon and indicate how it ascends and descends in flight.

The two diagrams illustrate the main parts of a hot air balloon and indicate how it ascends and descends in flight.
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The 2 graphs depict the different parts of a
balloon
Use synonyms
and how it can ascend or descend during the flight.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
to make the
balloon
Use synonyms
ascend, the
gas
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burners have to be on , in order to make the hot air go up in the
balloon
Use synonyms
's
envelope
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and the
valve
Use synonyms
has to be closed,
while
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the
gas
Use synonyms
has to be off and the
valve
Use synonyms
has to be opened to let go the hot air to make the
balloon
Use synonyms
descend. The
balloon
Use synonyms
's ascent is made thanks to the
envelope
Use synonyms
which ends with a
valve
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, which has to be closed to make the
balloon
Use synonyms
go up.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
gas
Use synonyms
tanks, which are inside the basket for passengers, have to be
open
Wrong verb form
opened
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in order to inflate the
balloon
Use synonyms
's
envelope
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. In opposition, the ballon's descent can be made thanks to the opening of the
valve
Use synonyms
situated on the top of the
envelope
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, the
gas
Use synonyms
tanks have to be closed and the burners off to stop the hot air making.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
valve
Use synonyms
of the
balloon
Use synonyms
has to be opened by the
valve
Use synonyms
cord activated by the pilot .
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words balloon, gas, envelope, valve with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "go up" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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