The two diagrams illustrate the main parts of a hot air balloon and indicate how it ascends and descends in flight.

The two diagrams illustrate the main parts of a hot air balloon and indicate how it ascends and descends in flight.
The 2 graphs depict the different parts of a
balloon
and how it can ascend or descend during the flight.
Overall
,
it is clear that
to make the
balloon
ascend, the
gas
burners have to be on , in order to make the hot air go up in the
balloon
's
envelope
and the
valve
has to be closed,
while
the
gas
has to be off and the
valve
has to be opened to let go the hot air to make the
balloon
descend. The
balloon
's ascent is made thanks to the
envelope
which ends with a
valve
, which has to be closed to make the
balloon
go up.
In addition
, the
gas
tanks, which are inside the basket for passengers, have to be
open
Wrong verb form
opened
show examples
in order to inflate the
balloon
's
envelope
. In opposition, the ballon's descent can be made thanks to the opening of the
valve
situated on the top of the
envelope
.
Then
, the
gas
tanks have to be closed and the burners off to stop the hot air making.
Additionally
, the
valve
of the
balloon
has to be opened by the
valve
cord activated by the pilot .
Submitted by leared on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words balloon, gas, envelope, valve with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "go up" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: