IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You recently had some items shipped to you from overseas. Upon receiving the shipment, you found some things damaged in transit. Write a letter to the manager of the shipping company. In your letter •provide the details of your shipment •describe the damage •say what action you want the company to take

#items #shipment #transit #manager #company #•provide #•describe #damage #•say #action
Dear Sir or
Capitalize word
Madam
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Capitalize word
Madam
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madam
Capitalize word
Madam
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, I am writing
this
 letter to
complaint
Replace the word
complain
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 and express my sheer dissatisfaction regarding a
parcel
 that was recently shipped to my address via your
company
 named XYZ
ltd
Change the capitalization
Ltd
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.
This
 letter is in context to shipment no. ABXR3647 dated 10/04/2023. The
parcel
 was shipped from an electronics
company
 named ABC
ltd
Change the capitalization
Ltd
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 located in the USA to my address located in India. The
parcel
 contained a
laptop
,
headphone
Fix the agreement mistake
headphones
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 and a keyboard. Upon unboxing the
parcel
 I was shocked to notice that the
laptop
 was severely damaged. The screen of the
laptop
 was broken into bits and the
laptop
 would not turn on as well. I came to know that the headphone was broken as well,
although
 the keyboard was sound. I have attached photographs of the damaged products
along with
this
 letter, so please find
attachments
Correct article usage
the attachments
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 below. These gadgets were extremely important for an upcoming event in my
company
 as I had to give a presentation with the same. They
costed
Correct your spelling
cost
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 me $5000 from my
hard earned
Add a hyphen
hard-earned
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 savings. I am now in a dire situation because of your shipping
company
’s careless handling of my extremely valuable
items
. I am sure you would be able to empathize with my situation. I expect your
company
 to initiate a full refund equal to the amount these
items
costed
Wrong verb form
cost
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 me or replace the
items
 damaged in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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transit. If you plan to replace these
items
 they should have the same specification as those that are damaged. I
also
 demand you to reprimand the members of your team responsible for
this
 unfortunate event that
costed
Correct your spelling
cost
show examples
 me my valuable time and money. I am eagerly waiting for your reply. Yours faithfully, John Peterson.
Submitted by niravfb1987 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your paragraphs are well-organized and clearly differentiated. You could enhance your letter by using a more varied range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
While your letter effectively communicates the complaint and desired actions, it could benefit from a clearer expression in some areas. Be cautious with spelling and grammar to ensure your message is understood as intended.
Task Achievement
Your letter covers all the required bullet points thoroughly, demonstrating a solid task achievement.
Task Achievement
You have effectively used a formal tone suitable for writing to a company's manager, which is appropriate for the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your letter is commendable, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the complaint.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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