Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Regarding the o the

rising

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rise

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of technology

during

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last

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the last

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years. Many

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apply

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children

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rens have

dialy spended

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daily spent

hours on using

smartphones

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This

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essay will

discusses

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discuss

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the case of

this

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phenomenon,

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then

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and then

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will

illustrates

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illustrate

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either

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whether

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it is a positive habit or not.

For of foremost

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Foremost

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, there are two crucial reasons which lead Childs to use

smartphones

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for a long time. The

sgnificant

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significant

reason is

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parnts

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parents

do not monitor their

Children

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. To

illustrates

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illustrate

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more, in

this

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rapid and noisy world

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parnts

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parents

have been busy with their responsibilities and

carrers

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careers

carriers

thus

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their

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they

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forget

monitoring

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to monitor

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their

childrens

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children's

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behavior.

Second

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The second

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important

reasons

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reason

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is everything in our life related

with

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show examples

using

iPhone

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the iPhone

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including education.

Therefore

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parnts

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parents

are obligated to provide their

childrens

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children

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with

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a smartphone

smartphones

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smartphones

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one

eventhough

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even though

their

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they

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do not have enough time to control

they

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their

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use of

smartphones

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. In a covid epndmic,

for example

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. Each students have to own his phone to Complete their education tasks.

Although

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apply

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using

smartphones

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phone by

children

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having

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has

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same

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the same

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apply

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draw backs

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drawbacks

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, there are

also

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many merits

such

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as, there are educational apps, which teach

children

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apply

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using

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apply

show examples

Creative and

attractiv

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attractive

ways.

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Doulingo

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Duolingo

apps.

Furthermore

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, it facilitates the teaching and learning process, by

simplified

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simplifying

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the communication between teachers and students, as well

between

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as between

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tutors and

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parnts

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parents

For instance

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, using

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to communicate quickly with students and their

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parnts

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parents

. In conclusion,

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while

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apply

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today's

the

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apply

show examples

rate of using

smartphones

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among

children

Use synonyms

has been increasing for many reasons.

Although

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Remove the comma

apply

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this

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issue has positives and negatives, the positives overcome the negatives.

Submitted by fatema14mohammed on Sat Apr 27 2024

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Task response

Ensure to directly address the question in your introduction to provide a clear overview of your essay's direction.

Coherence and cohesion

Develop each paragraph with one main idea, supported by examples or evidence, to enhance clarity and coherence.

Language

Monitor your spelling and grammatical accuracy to improve your essay's professionalism and readability.

Content

You successfully identified key reasons behind children's extensive use of smartphones, which shows good understanding.

Content

You have nicely balanced the essay by discussing both positive and negative aspects of the phenomenon.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent technological developments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?