IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has change because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

#people #change #technology #relationships #become #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary society, the advent of
technology
Use synonyms
 has revolutionized the dynamics of human interaction, reshaping the landscape of
relationships
Use synonyms
 in profound ways. From the ubiquity of social media
platforms
Use synonyms
 to the prevalence of instant messaging apps, the manner in which people connect, communicate, and cultivate
relationships
Use synonyms
 has undergone a seismic shift.
This
Linking Words
 transformation has engendered both positive and negative implications for the types of
relationships
Use synonyms
individuals
Use synonyms
 form. One of the most conspicuous impacts of
technology
Use synonyms
 on
relationships
Use synonyms
 is the proliferation of virtual
connections
Use synonyms
. Social media
platforms
Use synonyms
, online forums, and dating apps have facilitated the formation of
relationships
Use synonyms
 across geographical boundaries, allowing
individuals
Use synonyms
 to forge bonds with others whom they might never have encountered
otherwise
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
 democratization of connectivity has broadened the scope of human interaction, enabling people to transcend traditional barriers of time and space in their quest for companionship, camaraderie, and romantic involvement.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
 has democratized access to information, empowering
individuals
Use synonyms
 to explore diverse perspectives, cultures, and experiences. Online communities and forums provide
platforms
Use synonyms
 for like-minded
individuals
Use synonyms
 to congregate, exchange ideas, and form meaningful
connections
Use synonyms
 based on shared interests or values. In
this
Linking Words
 way,
technology
Use synonyms
 has facilitated the emergence of niche communities and subcultures, fostering a sense of belonging and solidarity among
individuals
Use synonyms
 who might
otherwise
Linking Words
 feel marginalized or isolated.
However
Linking Words
, alongside its myriad benefits, the omnipresence of
technology
Use synonyms
 has
also
Linking Words
 given rise to certain challenges and drawbacks in the realm of human
relationships
Use synonyms
. The allure of digital connectivity can sometimes engender a sense of superficiality or disconnection, as face-to-face interactions are supplanted by mediated communication mediated by screens. The ease with which one can curate and project an idealized self-image on social media
platforms
Use synonyms
 may contribute to feelings of inadequacy, envy, or insecurity, undermining the authenticity and depth of interpersonal
connections
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the incessant barrage of notifications, emails, and messages can encroach upon the quality of
relationships
Use synonyms
, impeding genuine engagement and intimacy. The phenomenon of "phubbing" or snubbing someone in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of one's phone has become increasingly prevalent, eroding the fabric of interpersonal bonds and fostering a culture of distraction and detachment. In conclusion, the impact of
technology
Use synonyms
 on the types of
relationships
Use synonyms
 people form is multifaceted, encompassing both positive and negative dimensions.
While
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
 has facilitated unprecedented opportunities for connectivity and community-building, it has
also
Linking Words
 introduced challenges related to authenticity, intimacy, and presence. Ultimately, whether
technology
Use synonyms
's influence on
relationships
Use synonyms
 is deemed positive or negative depends on the manner in which it is wielded and the extent to which
individuals
Use synonyms
 prioritize meaningful, authentic
connections
Use synonyms
 amidst the cacophony of digital noise.
Submitted by maher123123ed on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Detail Specificity
To enhance your task achievement score, consider incorporating more specific examples to substantiate your points. While your essay effectively outlines how technology affects relationships, providing concrete examples can deepen the analysis and make your arguments more convincing.
Transitions
Focus on refining the connectivity of your ideas to further improve coherence. Though your essay is well-organized, ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs can heighten the reader's ease of understanding.
Introduction/Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate the main themes of the essay, demonstrating a strong grasp of essay structuring.
Balanced Analysis
You've provided a comprehensive examination of both positive and negative aspects of technology's impact on relationships, offering a balanced perspective that enriches the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: