The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.

#rentals #sales #formats #films #store

The given charts predict different formats of film both rentals and

sales

reported in 2002 and 2011. It is immediately noticeable that the

sales

of DVDs and rentals went

Change preposition

show examples

the opposite directions of growth; rentals and VHS

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

dropped

while

the

sales

DVD

Fix the agreement mistake

DVDs

show examples

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

grew

Change preposition

apply

show examples

. The VHS were;

however

, got very few

sales

, and Blu-ray had the least

sales

among all. Renting films was the most popular

2002

Change preposition

in 2002

show examples

with almost 180,000 copies

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

borrowed;

however

, since

then

, the number

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

declined gradually until hit

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

rock bottom in 2011 with just over 50,000 rental copies.

Similar

Add an article

A similar

show examples

pattern of VHS in 2002, its amount of

sales

was the second to most which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

about 80,000

sales

;

however

, it decreased until it reached 10,000

sales

in 2005 and completely gone in 2006. DVD

sales

started from around 40,000 companies but surged up to

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

peak in 2007 with 210,000

sales

and

plateau

Wrong verb form

plateaued

show examples

since

then

Lastly

, the least among all is Blu-ray

sales

which started to

growth

Replace the word

grow

show examples

in 2007 with less than 10,000

sales

then

slightly rose and ended the 2011 with just over 10,000

sales

Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on Sun Apr 28 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

186 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Trend
Rentals
Sales
Formats
VHS (Video Home System)
DVD (Digital Versatile Disc)
Blu-ray
Peak
Decline
Rise
Market changes
Digital downloads
Physical formats
Over the years
Annual
Comparison
Impact
Technological advancements
Shift
Predictions

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The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.

In the modern world¬, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their wealth and glamour rather than their achievements, and this sets bad example to young people. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Personal Development is the base for professional development and advancing in one's career. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantage and disadvantage of tourist who visits such places?