The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the number of both male and female citizens who were hired
in particular
jobs in Australia in the
last
year.
Overall
,
it is clear that
men mostly become tradespeople and clerical
while
they barely work as workers.
However
, women choose clerical the most and they do not want to be tradespeople and
production
To begin
with, The total of male traders accounted
900
Change preposition
for 900
show examples
followed by clerical which was nearly the same, at 870. Professionals, managers and
production
registered 650, 600 and 500 respectively.
Moreover
, the gap between
production
and semi-professionals was roughly 40
as well as
labourers that came the
last
place with 400.
Additionally
, Australian women decided to join clerical just under 1000. Professionals came second place with 700 and it was more than female managers 3.5 times. The difference in semi-professionals and labourers women was approximately 80
besides
both female tradespeople and
production
had the same number which was about 100.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Vocabulary: Replace the words production with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment figures
  • Sectors
  • Significant disparities
  • Gender balance
  • Skewed
  • Trends
  • Patterns
  • Dominant
  • Inferred
  • Labor market
  • Year-on-year comparison
  • Insights
  • Implications
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