The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #persons #job #type #sex #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The bar chart illustrates the number of both male and female citizens who were hired

in particular

Linking Words

jobs in Australia in the

last

Linking Words

year.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

men mostly become tradespeople and clerical

while

Linking Words

they barely work as workers.

However

Linking Words

, women choose clerical the most and they do not want to be tradespeople and

production

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, The total of male traders accounted

900

Change preposition

for 900

show examples

followed by clerical which was nearly the same, at 870. Professionals, managers and

production

Use synonyms

registered 650, 600 and 500 respectively.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the gap between

production

Use synonyms

and semi-professionals was roughly 40

as well as

Linking Words

labourers that came the

last

Linking Words

place with 400.

Additionally

Linking Words

, Australian women decided to join clerical just under 1000. Professionals came second place with 700 and it was more than female managers 3.5 times. The difference in semi-professionals and labourers women was approximately 80

besides

Linking Words

both female tradespeople and

production

Use synonyms

had the same number which was about 100.

Submitted by nnatthinee on Sun Apr 28 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words production with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

157 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Employment figures
Sectors
Significant disparities
Gender balance
Skewed
Trends
Patterns
Dominant
Inferred
Labor market
Year-on-year comparison
Insights
Implications

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The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want on web or phone without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

People in many countries do not wear their traditional costume. Some argue that they would forget their history and tradition. Do you agree or disagree?

You have a complaint about the hotel you stayed at while attending a meeting that was booked by the organiser of a company meeting. Write a letter to the organiser of the meeting and include Details about the meeting The problem you face What should be done

Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do or you feel children have enough education at school?