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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was developed in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #ground #floor #library #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The picture illustrates the layout of the ground floor
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a
library
 in 2001 and how it was modified 8 years later.
Overall
, the ground floor witnessed various
transformation
Fix the agreement mistake
transformations
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, the most notable of which are the formation of adjacent
bookshelfs
Correct your spelling
bookshelf
bookshelves
 of
books
 from a variety of knowledge areas on the left and the addition
spaces
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of spaces
show examples
 for children's
books
, computers
and
Correct word choice
apply
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films and DVDs. In 2001, there were just 2 size-similar bookshelfs for
self help
Add a hyphen
self-help
show examples
books
 and history
books
 on the left wall of the
library
. To the north of the
library
, there was used to accommodate fiction
books
. In the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
library
, 2 lines of square-shaped tables were located, which have on their right side from the entrance
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
bookshelf
 containing newspapers and periodicals. For the following 8 years, the
area
 on the left wall of the
library
 was divided into 6 smaller areas with equal size to place
books
 from diversified fields
such
 as history, fiction,
self help
Add a hyphen
self-help
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, kitchen, economics,
law
Correct word choice
and law
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. The north
bookshelf
 was enlarged
it
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 size to have enough
area
 for
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
books
instead
 of fiction
books
 like before. Square-shaped tables
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 replaced by 4 long rectangle tables in the center
area
. The
bookshelf
 on the right wall currently held films and DVDs after newspapers and periodicals were removed. There was the addition of an
area
 for computers which was next to the film and DVD
bookshelf
 and could be easily accessed when turning left from the entrance.
Submitted by ymohuynh15pharm on

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Introduction
Consider refining your introduction to more clearly outline the changes without going into detail.
Conclusion
Adding a brief conclusion summarizing the main changes could enhance clarity and provide a succinct overview of the developments.
Detail Clarity
Pay attention to minor details that can improve clarity, such as specifying the directions more clearly (e.g., 'on the left wall' could be more specific).
Language Use
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance readability and engagement.
Content
Efficiently identified and compared the main changes from 2001 to 2009.
Structure
Organized the essay with a clear overall structure and paragraphing.
Example Use
Used specific examples to support main points, demonstrating good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ground floor
  • library
  • development
  • combined space
  • versatile
  • entrance
  • layout
  • restructured
  • reading/study area
  • computer area
  • technological advancements
  • digital resources
  • dedicated
  • community engagement
  • bookshelves
  • multifunctional spaces
  • media area
  • incorporating
  • information
  • entertainment resources
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