IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below show how teenagers in Japan and Australia spent their money in 2019.

The pie charts below show how teenagers in Japan and Australia spent their money in 2019.
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The chart depicts the young
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 expenditure in various countries in 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly apparent that most of
spending
Add an article
the spending
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 by Australian and
Japan
Replace the word
Japanese
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 teens
in
Change preposition
on
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 video/computer and
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
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,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, the
most
Change the adjective
apply
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lowest spending
has
Verb problem
is
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 done in
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 categories like books and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in Australia and Japan young teens
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
highest
Change the article
the highest
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 proportion of expenses
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Video and Computer

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • spending habits
  • savings
  • electronic goods
  • physical goods
  • cultural differences
  • social media influence
  • advertising impact
  • education expenses
  • priority
  • trends
  • analysis
  • comparison
  • popularity
  • impact
  • expenses
  • categories
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