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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Challenge 2 Many people try to balance work and other parts of their life. However, this is very difficult to do. What are the problems associated with this? What is the best way to achieve a better balance

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There is no denying the fact that it is super difficult to equilibrium struggle and other activity components.
This
 essay will discuss the main issues that prevent individuals from making a better life balance and the significant path to success and good stability.
To begin
 with, there are many issues with the difficulty of equilibrium production tasks and various growth parts.
Firstly
, nowadays life has changed more than before and our needs require us to spend most of our time working.
In other words
, to allocate family needs we ought to do numerous jobs whether full-time or part-time work.
In addition
, many individuals prefer to work as freelancers and that means they will have a short hour to focus on other soul sections.
For example
, video editors, social media and AI artists
this
 type of jobs are required to
endeavor
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endeavour
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 remotely and take long hours In terms of solutions, people lack plans to balance our self needs and job placement. It is
also
 ol possible to say that, having a daily routine is a crucial thing that will avoid labours from various medical and mentality problems.
Moreover
, one of the most potential rules in growth is “ do not postpone today’s industry to tomorrow”.
For instance
, there is a study published in 2022 by the University of Harvard, showing there is an indispensable increase in heart quality
to
Change preposition
for
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 those who finish their tasks immediately and put some energy into other activity activities
such
 as working out
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and spending age with friends and family. In conclusion, there are many critical issues for the difficulty
Change preposition
of
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to
Change preposition
of
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 finding a way to balance performance and growth and it is hard to say that people think
this
 is an irrelevant case, sadly it has a vital impact on our lives. It is
also
 true that finding a solution is the best way to achieve stability in the soul.
Submitted by zaidamrat5 on

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Expression & Grammar
Ensure clarity in your expression to enhance understanding. Some sentences may be confusing due to grammatical errors or unusual phrasing.
Tone & Style
Maintain a more formal tone and choice of words for academic writing.
Supporting Examples
Try to use clear, topic-specific examples to support your main points. This adds depth to your argument.
Paragraphing
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each discussing a distinct idea for better readability.
Content & Ideas
You've successfully identified key issues and proposed solutions regarding work-life balance.
Use of Evidence
Including a study from a reputable source like the University of Harvard strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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