Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to new generation companies should encourage high level employess who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree? Why.
It is often argued that, to open the door of opportunities for young
generation
, MNCs should motivate their executive level employes to retire early - by the age of 55. I completely agree with the statement, an early retirement will help new comers to bring in innovation and technological advancement to the company
.
To begin
with, new young generation
will have new ideology different methods of working on the projects. This
will help to bring innovation into the company
, which will further
make work interesting and engaging for employees. To exemplify: Google recruits 80% of it employee, from the age group of 20- 30, to maintain the level of uniqueness and innovation.
Furthermore
, it is easier for younger age group to adapt to new technology every now and then
. In other words
, as technology is andvancing at a faster pace, with more new generation
working it becomes easier for a company
to implement technological advancements rapidly. For instance
: a recent survey by University of Texas claims, companies with high number of new generation
people evolve 3.8 times faster technologically, in comparison to the company
with higer volume of older people.
To conclude
, i believe employing young blood is a win- win situation for the management and company
, as it will help company
to be technologically advanced and unique in it's notion.Submitted by vasudha.gupta0818 on
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Style
Consider varying your sentence structure more to enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your arguments more compelling.
Content
Try to include counter-arguments to provide a balanced perspective before concluding your essay. This could involve addressing potential benefits of retaining experienced staff alongside your arguments for encouraging early retirement.
Accuracy
Review your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and improve word choice for a better flow and precision in your argumentation. Attention to detail in language usage can further elevate your score.
Accuracy
Make sure to proofread your essay for typographical errors such as 'anvancing' instead of 'advancing', as well as ensuring the use of proper company names and factual accuracy in examples.
Content
Your essay effectively includes relevant and specific examples to support your points, which is a strong aspect of your task achievement.
Structure
You have clearly structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs each discussing a distinct argument, and a conclusion, which aids in achieving a high coherence and cohesion score.
Task Response
The essay stays on topic throughout and addresses the prompt directly, demonstrating good task response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.