IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Give your advice to your friend who is planning to move to a new city. In your letter - Describe the different types of accommodation - Give tips to find a good place to live - Explain factors to your friend to consider when finding a place to live

#advice #friend #move #city #accommodation #tips #place #factors
Dear Jase, How are you? I'm writing
to
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apply
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this
 letter
for
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to
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 give my advice to you. You were calling me
however
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, however
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, when I was
my
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at my
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 job. I saw a lot of apartments
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on by
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by
Correct your spelling
my
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 mobile phone. Now I give feedback about houses. My neighbour is selling themselves flat
that
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apply
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it is
very
Correct article usage
a very
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 good
chose
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choice
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 for you. I offer
this
 accommodation because it has extremely high bookshelves, big price carpet. It
is colors
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is colored
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 red, blue, pink and brown. There are five rooms.
Furthermore
,
house
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the house
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 is comfortable, light,
beautiful
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and beautiful
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. It was fixed European style two months ago so very new still. My city is
paradise
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a paradise
the paradise
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 that there are a lot of shops, bazaars, modern markets, schools and other shopping malls.
Last
 but not least, they are situated
our
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on our
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 street end. Especially, we have all facilities
such
 as
a
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apply
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good public transport, shopping
centers
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centres
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 and good education opportunities. In my city has very
much
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a lot of
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 factories and they will offer work.
Moreover
, if you
will
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apply
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work, they will
paying
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pay
be paying
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 fifty
puond
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pound
pounds
pond
for
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per
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a
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apply
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week. It is
good
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a good
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 salary for a family. I look forward to hearing from you soon. I am
waiting
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waiting for
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 your response with lots of patience. Best wishes, Makhliyo
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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structure
To enhance your letter, consider a more structured approach by clearly separating your ideas into paragraphs, focusing on one key piece of advice per paragraph.
content
Remember to address all parts of the prompt more explicitly. While you've touched on different types of accommodation and tips, elaborating more on factors to consider would provide a more complete response.
language
For a clearer and more professional tone, avoid colloquial expressions and ensure the use of correct verb tenses and grammar. This will improve the reader's understanding and engagement with your letter.
tone
Your enthusiasm and friendly tone make the letter engaging and show your willingness to help your friend.
content
You successfully mentioned several types of amenities and facilities available in your city, which is useful information for someone considering moving there.
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