IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The role of artificial intelligence in our lives is increasing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, all technology is developing.
For instance
Linking Words
: man-made
Use synonyms
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 spread around the world and in our daily
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
 big
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
role.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they are increasing from
day
Use synonyms
 to
day
Use synonyms
. I completely
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 view and will give my reasons below. Currently, some
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, my classmates
use
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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,
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
, laptops and other electronic devices. It is bad increasing because they do not
use
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 their brain.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 appear
destroy
Wrong verb form
destroyed
show examples
 in their brain.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, electronic devices
are bring
Verb problem
have
show examples
 bad
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
mind
Add an article
the mind
show examples
 will stop
from increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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, adults look
to
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at
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
their phone
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 and they have
unhealth
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
show examples
. Especially, some adults
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not look clear from childhood
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
because
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they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 parents have not carefully. Children suffer strong
sick
Replace the word
sickness
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 in their eyes.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, most
people
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 waste their time and they do not
reading
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read
show examples
,
searching
Wrong verb form
search
show examples
 and
knowing
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, increasing unknowing. Some offspring need glasses that
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 difficult issue for their parents from
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
 side.
This
Linking Words
 artificial
intelligence
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 throughout bad.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
man-made
Correct article usage
a man-made
show examples
mind
Use synonyms
helpful
Add a missing verb
is helpful
show examples
 for all
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays all smartphones have different menus for
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
. Some mothers and girls
use
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it helps kind of circumstances to person. You will find you are searching
something
Change preposition
for something
show examples
 from
man-made
Correct article usage
a man-made
show examples
mind
Use synonyms
. Most
people
Use synonyms
 need artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 so it is increasing from
day
Use synonyms
 to
day
Use synonyms
. Smartphones are Google
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is very clever because more children
use
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. In conclusion,the role of man-made
intelligence
Use synonyms
 in our daily
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 is developing. There are good sides and bad sides. I completely
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 view.

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Structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for introduction, main points, and conclusion.
Content
Focus on providing clearer examples that directly support your argument. It helps to make your essay more persuasive.
Clarity
Work on the clarity of your ideas. Make sure each paragraph has one main idea that is explained, expanded upon, and supported by examples.
Language
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary. Using a wider range of vocabulary accurately and focusing on sentence structure can enhance your writing.
Balanced argument
You presented both sides of the argument, which is good for a balanced discussion.
Topic awareness
Your essay touches on many relevant issues concerning the impact of AI, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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