IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the amount of money spent on libraries is a waste as new technologies are developing and replacing library functions. Do you agree or disagree?

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In the present age,
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whereas
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
investment in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cutting-edge gadgets has more benefits than in
libraries
Use synonyms
 has sparked much debate. The majority find technology more suitable for today‘s fast-moving world
while
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 others greatly admire
cultural
Correct article usage
the cultural
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 and communicational facilities of
libraries
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.
Firstly
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, replacing paper
books
Use synonyms
 with innovative devices
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 us with a range of benefits including functionality, portability and accessibility. By and large,
libraries
Use synonyms
 are for reading, lending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 or learning
whereas
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
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 us use an endless list of functions: reading digital
books
Use synonyms
 or reports, exploring the news, searching for any kind of information, learning, summarizing, to name but a few.
Moreover
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,
in
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with
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 one gadget we have a chance to keep hundreds of
books
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 which is much more convenient than carrying out only one which is frequently even bigger than the device.
Therefore
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, dedicating more money to digital development may even expand
plentiful
Correct article usage
the plentiful
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 possibilities of computers.
On the other hand
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,
libraries
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 are not just for collecting
books
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, they play an essential role
of
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in
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 gathering like-minded people. More specifically,
libraries
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 require financial support with a view to raising cultural awareness by organizing conferences or projects which
enables
Correct subject-verb agreement
enable
show examples
 people to share the same passion for writing poetry, discussing arts or politics and analyzing professional issues.
For instance
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, an event called ‘‘Poezijos pavasaris“
annualy
Correct your spelling
annually
 takes place in the National
library
Capitalize word
Library
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 in Vilnius in order to inspire participants
by
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with
show examples
 the magic of poetry.
As a result
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, if
libraries
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 were demolished, no locations would be eligible for
such
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 meaningful purposes.
To sum up
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, financial support for
libraries
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 may lead to
expansion
Correct article usage
the expansion
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 of cultural knowledge
by
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through
show examples
 artistic events and social gatherings,
however
Linking Words
, many people opt for focusing on technological progress as computers are more functional and adjustable. I believe that it‘s worth spending on mechanisation as it is more likely to bring about a positive change in humanity. (304 words)

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the introduction could be slightly improved to provide a clearer overview of your argument. Consider stating explicitly whether you agree or disagree with the statement in the introduction.
logical structure
You provided relevant examples and detailed explanations to support your points. However, make sure each paragraph centers around a single clear idea. The second paragraph, while well-detailed, discusses multiple points that could be better structured.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay effectively covers the topic and addresses different viewpoints. Slight improvements in clarity and transitions between sentences could enhance readability.
supported main points
Consider varying your sentence structures and connecting ideas more fluidly to enhance the flow of your essay.
relevant specific examples
You provided detailed and relevant examples which strengthen your argument. For instance, the mention of the 'Poezijos pavasaris' event is an excellent specific example supporting the cultural importance of libraries.
complete response
Your essay comprehensively covers various aspects of the topic, providing a balanced view.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your discussion includes a range of points about both libraries and technology, showing a good grasp of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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