The diagram belows show the production of olive oil.
The chart which is provided above presents the making of olive oil through step-by-step actions and instructions.
Overall
, the procedure has 7 different and complex steps that start with the picking of the fruits from trees to it
being stored and sold in markets in the Correct pronoun usage
apply
last
stage.
To begin
with, the creation begins by picking off the olives from their tree after which they are sent to a rinsing machine to be washed clean with cold water as the second step of the procedure. Following which
, the olives are smashed by a machine to Correct pronoun usage
this
seperate
the seeds from the fruits.
Correct your spelling
separate
Then
the following olive paste is put into a bag with holes in it that is
consequently
compressed by a pressing machine to separate the oil from the water. Finally
, in the last
stage
the olive oil is Add a comma
stage,
packeged
and sent to shops to be sold to the public.Correct your spelling
packaged
packed
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼