Some people think that one should plan detailed activities for their leisure time, while others disagree with this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
In today’s era, people care more and more for their
leisure
time
. It is argued that some people believe that people should have a specific detail planned for leisure
time
but others believe that leisure
time
is enjoyed freely without plans. In my opinion, i
think it Change the capitalization
I
is depends
on Change the verb form
depends
ones
needs, which Change to a genitive case
one's
i
will elaborate Change the capitalization
I
in
the following essay.
It is true that some plans help to enjoy a structured Change preposition
on in
leisure
time
. For example
, concerts and musicals are great way
to entertain and enjoy free Fix the agreement mistake
ways
time
. These events all need booking in advance since it is popular and hosted in a venue. It is essential have
bookings in advance. For these Add the particle
to have
activities
it is simply unrealistic to show up without a plan.
Add a comma
activities,
On the other hand
, the reason to have some down
Correct your spelling
downtime
time
is to have the freedom to enjoy hobbies and various activities
, which doesn’t involve with
planning. From personal experience, as a student, during the week Change preposition
apply
i
have a full schedule of Change the capitalization
I
plan
for the day. It is important to keep track of all the lessons and studies. Whenever Fix the agreement mistake
plans
i
have some free Change the capitalization
I
time
i
would try to relax and go with the flow. Because planning stresses me and makes me worried about Change the capitalization
I
time
management. I enjoy freedom
of Add an article
the freedom
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
time
in my own term, where i
can spend days Change the capitalization
I
of
doing nothing but reading or Change preposition
apply
sleep
in
In conclusion, some Wrong verb form
sleeping
activities
do need plans but there are a lot more relaxing activities
doesn’t
need Wrong verb form
that don’t
plan
. In my Fix the agreement mistake
plans
opinion
it is better to enjoy Add a comma
opinion,
leisure
time
.Submitted by shirley772023 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to ensure variety in your sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay. Mixing complex and simple sentences can make your arguments more engaging.
Task Achievement
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and typos, such as "i" instead of "I" and maintaining consistent tense throughout your essay, as they can detract from the professionalism of your writing.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding on your examples by explaining how they support your viewpoint more explicitly, making your arguments more convincing.
Task Achievement
You have effectively discussed both viewpoints on planning leisure activities, providing a balanced analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly sums up your viewpoint, reflecting good essay structure practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay flows logically from one paragraph to the next, demonstrating effective use of transition words.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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