New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or this agree with this opinion.
Nowadays it is observed that
extension
of new Correct article usage
the extension
technologies
business
is constantly increasing over current years, and it is arguable that lives
of customers Correct article usage
the lives
has
influenced and undergone some Change the verb form
have
changes
because of technology
and its business
. It seems to me that by
Change preposition
with
this
much of
excessive Change preposition
apply
interests
in new Fix the agreement mistake
interest
technologies
, people
’s lives
have changed enormously. I will explain about changes
that caused
by Add a missing verb
are caused
technology
with some examples in this
essay.
To start with, it appears that by advancement
of Add an article
the advancement
technology
and extension
of its Correct article usage
the extension
business
the lives
of users is
impressed and transformed Correct subject-verb agreement
are
to
a different way not as it was before. in previous era before Change preposition
in
technology
coming
, Wrong verb form
came
people
used to hang out with each other and there were
more humanity and devotion running between them, but for Correct subject-verb agreement
was
this
generation
all has left is about exploring and browsing among new Add a comma
generation,
technologies
and honestly
it seems that Add a comma
honestly,
peoples
now are more enthusiastic in unreal things Fix the agreement mistake
people
such
as robots, AI, computers and other related subjects. Furthermore
, it seems that because of the development of technologies
and its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
business
in broader fields, the need for human labor
has decreased. Change the spelling
labour
By
Change preposition
With
this
progress
both in Add a comma
progress,
technology
and its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
business
which has become widely
all over the World, employment of Change the word
wide
people
in some jobs are
surprisingly less Correct subject-verb agreement
is
that
before and it has made a huge alternation in life Correct word choice
than
situation
, Fix the agreement mistake
situations
for example
, because of the translation ability in new technologies
, translator’s expertness is useless now and there is no need for them.
Although
,
it is true that a part of Remove the comma
apply
population
doesn’t have any interest in using Add an article
the population
this
technology
and prefer
to live without Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
but
despite Remove the conjunction
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
this
group, the majority of people
are considered as
Change preposition
apply
technology
users and their lives
are dependent to
it, so they have all had Change preposition
on
changes
in their life compared to no technology
era.
To conclude
, for most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
, it is necessary to use the
new Correct article usage
apply
technology
because all of their interests and interactions are related to it, so it was calculable that by this
advancement of technology
and its business
of buying and selling, some activities would have some changes
by time.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
It's commendable that you clearly stated your opinion and maintained it throughout the essay, illustrating the impact of technology on people's lives. To further enhance your essay, strive to introduce more specific examples that directly support your arguments, which can make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay benefits from a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider more carefully organizing your ideas within paragraphs and using transitional phrases to smoothly connect them. This will make your argumentation stronger and easier for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
In terms of cohesion, it's beneficial to revisit the use of cohesive devices and ensure they're seamlessly integrated into your text. While your effort to link ideas is evident, focusing on varied and nuanced connectors can reinforce the flow of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets up the essay topic effectively, providing a clear stance on the influence of technology on consumers' lives.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly recapitulates your stance, underscoring the necessity of new technology in modern life. This symmetrically rounds off the discussion, leaving the reader with a clear understanding of your viewpoint.
task achievement
You've successfully covered a broad spectrum of ideas related to technology's impact. This demonstrates your ability to conceptualize and discuss complex issues, an important skill in essay writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.