IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

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Upcoming
Change preposition
In upcoming
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 days all transport systems will be free from drivers and individuals can travel like
a
Correct article usage
apply
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passenger
Fix the agreement mistake
passengers
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. I think there are more benefits than drawbacks.
Firstly
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, the main benefit of
this
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 part is time management,
whereas
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 most of the time
a
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an
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 operator cannot do it. People are using their full working
times
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time
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 in their duties and they travel
any
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to any
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 places within their
desire
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desired
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 period and
as a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 their working period is more effective than others.
For example
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, the
USA
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US
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 government decides to use
AI controlled
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AI-controlled
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 cars and buses for their employees
due to
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work
Wrong verb form
working
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 full
times
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time
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 in their offices.
Besides
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, nowadays, traffic congestion is a burning issue. If we use
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this facilities
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this facility
these facilities
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, we will easily maintain traffic rules and no
congestions
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congestion
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 occur
in
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on
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 our busy roads.
On the other hand
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, there is a chance for system errors.
Although
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 it is operated by an automatic machine, there is a fear of failure.
For instance
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, some researchers conducted research and found that there is a high risk
for
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of
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 road accidents
due to
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 automation.
Additionally
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, a lot of individuals die
for
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from
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mishap
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mishaps
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.
Moreover
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, driverless vehicles are
also
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cause
Correct article usage
a cause
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for
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of
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 unemployment.
Due to
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introduction
Correct article usage
the introduction
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this
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of this
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, many people
loss
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lost
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 their job.
Consequently
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, they spend their free time
into
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at
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 home and suffer shortages of money
and
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apply
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it
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which
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 is a great reason for increasing criminal activities. In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages. Disadvantages create some impacts in our society but advantages will help to lead an easy life among the community members and if the government takes some concerns for drawbacks, individuals will not complain
against
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about
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this
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.

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Introduction Improvement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your viewpoint on the advantage vs. disadvantage question. Some more specificity in your initial statement could provide a stronger foundation for your argument.
Paragraphing and Cohesion
Provide a clearer distinction between paragraphs with topic sentences that directly relate to the advantages and disadvantages. This helps in maintaining a more coherent flow and logical structure.
Use of Examples
Consider expanding your examples with more detail or using a wider range of examples to support your points. Specific, real-world instances can add depth to your argument and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Sentence Variety
Work on sentence structures and variety to enhance readability. Avoid repetitive sentence beginnings and incorporate a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.
Balanced Argumentation
Be cautious of overgeneralizations or sweeping statements, especially in discussing potential disadvantages. Providing balanced viewpoints with evidence can strengthen your argument.
Conclusion Enhancement
Review and refine your conclusion to not only summarize your points but also reinforce your stance on the topic. A compelling conclusion leaves a lasting impression.
Balanced Discussion
Your essay shows a clear attempt to address both sides of the argument, highlighting the complexity of the issue.
Topic Focus
You successfully maintained a focus on the topic, demonstrating an understanding of the main question.
Use of Examples
Usage of hypothetical examples, such as the USA government decision, illustrates an effort to support your arguments with relevant scenarios.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
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