Challenge 3 : In today’s digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. This accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that
smartphones
have a significant role in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
days
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in photography.
While
it is a commonly held belief that the worth of executive photographers will
reduce
Wrong verb form
be reduced
show examples
by the new evolution of digital
smartphones
, there is
also
an argument that opposes it, In my opinion, I consider
that is
something irrelevant and experts will not be impacted by the new technology.
To begin
with, technology is a tool not a natural habite
such
as an artist.
In other words
, to be a professional photographer it is crucial to have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
talent and
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
what people miss and focus on quality
such
as pixel and zoom
lens
Fix the agreement mistake
lenses
show examples
.
In addition
, nowadays millions of individuals have various brands of
smartphones
and have no idea how to catch the best moment with artistic framing like a professional.
For example
, Apple and Samsung
produced
Wrong verb form
produce
show examples
a variety of lenses,
while
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
tend to use camera brands
such
as Sony and Canon which provide a high range of clear photos. Another point to consider
, If
Correct your spelling
is if
it was easy to capture the moments
then
why
Universities
Add a missing verb
are Universities
show examples
establishing modern crosses to teach students technical methods to utilize their
smartphones
in an efficient way
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
It is
also
possible to say that it's super hard to diminish the impact of photographers and the expensive equipment they had to show us pretty items around the world.
For instance
, an article published in 2020 by The Times journal showed critical value for executive photographers who have talent and courses degree in art and media than others who do not have and only rely on the
smartphones
Change noun form
smartphone's
show examples
quality and the name of
brand
Add an article
the brand
show examples
. In conclusion, despite people having different points of view, I believe that the newest technology customized for crowd
Correct your spelling
daily
daly
Correct your spelling
daily
use to capture daily life activities does not diminish the huge impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
professionals
Submitted by zaidamrat5 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Ensure your essay has clear paragraphing, with each paragraph having a central idea. This helps in maintaining a logical flow and makes your argument more coherent.
Accuracy
Be cautious with spelling, grammar, and especially with the usage of terms ('executive photographers' vs. 'professional photographers'). Precision in language contributes to a clearer expression of your ideas.
Development
To strengthen your argument, make sure that each body paragraph contains a clear main idea followed by specific examples or evidence. This improves the overall clarity and persuasiveness of your essay.
Expression
While it's good to present complex ideas, aim for clarity and simplicity in your expression to ensure your points are communicated effectively.
Task Response
Your essay successfully addresses the task, offering a clear position and supporting arguments throughout.
Language Range
You've shown an ability to use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express complex ideas, which is impressive.
Example Usage
The use of real-life examples (e.g., Apple, Samsung, Sony, and Canon) significantly strengthens your argument, making it more relatable and convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: