Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Teenagers
nowadays prefer interacting with
people
online rather than meeting one another in
person
. The main reason for
this
would be that the lifestyle of
teenagers
has substantially
chnaged
Correct your spelling
changed
over the years.
Although
we see
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
progress in the intelligence of children, the emotional connection that
teenagers
have with one
anohter
Correct your spelling
another
has been lost
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
thus
leading to not wanting to
meeting
Change the verb
meet
show examples
people
in
person
. The growth of many social networking apps and websites
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
also
contributed to
this
problem
in addition
to the sedentary lifestyle of
teenagers
in
this
decade. In
this
fast growing
Add a hyphen
fast-growing
show examples
time
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
teenagers
are busy with their schooling and other activities,
although
they wish to meet
people
in
person
time
is a big factor which pulls them back from not going out and socialising with their peers but rather
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
to communicate online. Reflecting back on the topic, a study by
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
of the phone companies
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
us the magnitude of which
teenagers
use their phones for social networking, it showed that more than 50% of the
time
spent on using phones was
infact
Correct your spelling
in fact
used for social networking,
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
it was used in texting
people
rather than for other purposes. The other significant reason for more
communication
online is
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
of the fact that
tenagers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
are trying to build
many
Change the article
a many
the many
show examples
number
Change to a plural noun
numbers
show examples
of relations with others at once, whether it is for dating or for casual talks. Most
teenagers
are introverts and shy in meeting in
person
and are really bad at direct
communication
,
although
they are shy they still want to build relations with
mutiple
Correct your spelling
multiple
people
, making interacting online the only possible solution for them.
Definetley
Correct your spelling
Definitely
there is
need
Add an article
a need
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
encorsging
Correct your spelling
encouraging
teenagers
to meet each other in
perosn
Correct your spelling
person
and
messures
Correct your spelling
measures
have to be taken for
this
. Several workshops can be conducted during
thr
Correct your spelling
the
weekends where several
people
come
togeter
Correct your spelling
together
and
made to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
interact with each
ohter
Correct your spelling
other
, not only does
this
prevent hesitation of talking in
person
but
also
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
theri
Correct your spelling
their
communication
skills.
Behaviorial
Correct your spelling
Behaviour
therapy classes can
also
be conducted to make them understand the importance of emotions during
communication
, which cannot be built during online talks. Games and activities involving different
people
will
also
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
help them communicate well in
person
,
moreover
also
make them understand the importance of working and
communicatin
Correct your spelling
communicating
communication
in a team.
Last
but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
least, limiting the
time
teenagers
use social networking apps on mobiles could pave a foundation for more
communication
online.
Teenagers
defenitely
Correct your spelling
definitely
need to start building interest in communicating online, not only does
this
help them in their future for their jobs but
also
in everyday life with their families.
Submitted by mshkrp2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language accuracy
Ensure clarity in your argument by using precise language and double-checking for typos or grammatical mistakes that could slightly obscure meaning.
Language range
Consider using varied sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the sophistication of your argument.
Structure
Clearly structure your essay with defined paragraphs, each addressing distinct aspects of the question to improve readability and coherence.
Introduction & Conclusion
Introduce your essay with a clear thesis statement and conclude with a summary that encapsulates your key points and reflects on the implications.
Linking
Incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs, thereby enhancing the flow of your essay.
Supporting evidence
To strengthen your argument, include more specific examples or cite studies/ research to back your claims. This adds credibility and depth to your essay.
Task response
You provided a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing both the causes and potential measures related to the issue.
Structure
Your essay shows a clear effort to structure and organize ideas into paragraphs, which aids in the reader's understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • socialization
  • curate
  • engaging
  • social anxiety
  • digital detox
  • tech-free zones
  • mentorship programs
  • real-world interactions
  • face-to-face settings
  • in-person participation
  • promote
  • deter
  • foster
  • appeal
  • perspectives
  • detox challenges
  • community service
What to do next:
Look at other essays: