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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

TOPIC: Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#topic #people #boys #girls #schools #benefit
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Although
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 we live in the modern world, the topic of whether males and females should study together has a long-standing position. Whilst certain individuals claim that teaching
children
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 by separating them based on their genders is beneficial, proponents of equal rights in
schools
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 believe that kids can learn the most if they participate in co-educational
schools
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. It is my contention that each has its own merits and demerits,
however
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, I
also
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 agree that mixed
schools
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 could be more advantageous in terms of diversity and competitive drive among the
students
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. First and foremost, presently, in some countries, the operation of mixed-sex
schools
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 had been ceased a long time ago. The rationale behind
this
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 ban pertains to the lenses
such
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 as religion and
education
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 methodology.
Furthermore
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, in some regions where radical religion still prevails, boys and girls are not allowed to study together as their religion says .
Additionally
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, only a handful of
education
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 providers implement a unique teaching technique at their premises by separating classes in alignment with their sex.
This
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 is attributable to the puberty period of
children
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 when they are most vulnerable to relationships with the opposite gender.
Therefore
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, some colleges established single-
schools
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 in order to enhance
students
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' concentration on their studies. To exemplify
this
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 point, some of the most elite
schools
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 are renowned for the number of their high-performing
students
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.
Moreover
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, a majority of people believe in the preeminence of mixed-gender
schools
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 as they have a better chance of self-development
due to
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 the increased competition between schoolers. Undoubtedly,
children
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 are prone to learn more diversified topics at school with mixed sexes because each type of gender has a distinctive opinion and takes on problems and solutions to those problems. It is worth noting that
children
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's takeaway from these
schools
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 is not limited to
education
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, but they can
also
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 experience how to incorporate with their female peers which is equally important at the later stages of life. In conclusion,
while
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 the fact that gender-segregated
schools
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 only assist
students
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 in beaming their focus on their personal development, people who attend multi-gender
education
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 centres derive a diversified view into the issues and learn how to engage with the opposite genes.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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example
To further enhance your essay, consider integrating more real-world examples to substantiate your arguments. This could involve citing studies, statistics, or specific cases where mixed or single-sex education has impacted student outcomes.
balance
While your essay presents a clear standpoint and discusses both views effectively, ensuring a balanced exploration of both sides could enrich your argument. Consider dedicating equal space and depth to discussing the merits and limitations of each perspective.
grammar
Pay attention to minor errors in grammar or word choice that might detract from the clarity of your writing. Proofreading your essay for these small inaccuracies can make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
structure
Your essay demonstrates a strong structure, with a clear introduction, comprehensive body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion, effectively guiding the reader through your argument.
language
The use of sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures enhances the readability and academic tone of your essay.
opinion
Your personal opinion is clearly articulated and supported by reasoned arguments, contributing to a strong task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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