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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the results of surveys in one African country asking teenagers the main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the results of surveys in one African country asking teenagers the main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#results #surveys #african #country #teenagers #phones #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart shows the main reasons for using
phones
Use synonyms
 by teenagers in an African country between 2016
-
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2019
Correct word choice
and 2019
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main
reason
Use synonyms
 for using
phones
Use synonyms
 over the years was for social networking, followed by emailing
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which saw a gradual
decline
Use synonyms
 over the years. Making calls was the least popular
reason
Use synonyms
 for using
phones
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
use
Use synonyms
 of
phones
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
 the camera remained relatively stable. Social networking was by far the most
comon
Correct your spelling
common
reason
Use synonyms
 for usage of
phones
Use synonyms
 from about 50% in 2016,
although
Linking Words
 it saw a very slight
decline
Use synonyms
 over the years 2017 and 2018, the need to
use
Use synonyms
 social networking rose to about 56% in 2019.
Although
Linking Words
 emailing remained the second most
Use synonyms
reason
Correct word choice
common reason
show examples
 for using
phones
Use synonyms
 from 2016
-
Change preposition
to
show examples
2017 with about 25%, it slowly saw a gradual
decline
Use synonyms
 to 20% in 2018 and 19% in 2019 making it the 3rd most popular
reason
Use synonyms
 for using
phones
Use synonyms
. The need to
use
Use synonyms
phones
Use synonyms
 to take pictures was not very popular from 2016-2017 as it remained in 3rd place with about 15%,
although
Linking Words
 it saw a gradual rise in 2019 to 18%,
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
 it took
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2nd place in 2019 with about 20%. Making calls using
phones
Use synonyms
 was not a very popular need right from 2016 and it
remianed
Correct your spelling
remained
last
Linking Words
 with
abotu
Correct your spelling
about
 10% from 2016
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the numbers saw a
decline
Use synonyms
, though not very significantly to 5% in 2019.
Submitted by mshkrp2 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words phones, reason, decline, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 3 times.
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