In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some other cities, bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons for these two developments? In your opinion, which one better?
In the modern world,
mode
of transportation has Correct article usage
the mode
change
. Some people prefer Change the verb form
changed
four
Correct determiner usage
a
wheeler
over bicycles Correct your spelling
four-wheeler
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
other
choose quite Fix the agreement mistake
others
opposite
. Correct article usage
the opposite
This
essay will acknowledge the validity of this
and elaborate the
reasons.
On the Change preposition
on the
one
hand, in developing countries
only Add a comma
countries,
one
person ( father)use
to earn money to run their family . Wrong verb form
used
Due to
limited source
of Fix the agreement mistake
sources
income
they choose Add a comma
income,
bycycle
to commute regularly. Correct your spelling
bicycle
bicycles
Now a days
almost everyone in Correct the word
Nowadays
house
started working , Add an article
the house
due to
increase
in Correct article usage
an increase
saving
, making them Replace the word
savings
to
shift towards cars. Change the verb form
apply
In addition
to that , automobile companies offering
discounts to encourage Wrong verb form
offer
public
to purchase . Add an article
the public
For instance
,In India car dealers attract customers by
their Change preposition
through
advertisement
stating that Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
10
Correct article usage
a 10
percent
down payment rest in Every Change the spelling
per cent
month
interest (EMI Replace the word
monthly
as well as
instant personal loans .All this
facilities make them Change the determiner
these
to
buy Change the verb form
apply
one
. Moreover
,increase
in Correct article usage
the increase
number
of family members Change the article
a number
the number
one
of the Add a missing verb
is one
reason
.
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
On the other hand
,cities
like Change preposition
in cities
Newyork
and Paris Correct your spelling
New York
.public
Correct your spelling
public
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
bicycle
over Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
Add an article
the card
a card
card
. There are many Fix the agreement mistake
cards
reason
to support Change to a plural noun
reasons
this
statement. Firstly
, due to
massive
population ,Correct article usage
the massive
government
can not provide enough parking space for all Add an article
the government
as well as
companies to their employees .Secondly
,traffic congestion takes hours to reach their destination especially
rainy season . Add the comma(s)
, especially
Lastly
, cycle
are more Fix the agreement mistake
cycles
convient
to use , Correct your spelling
convenient
it
not only Correct pronoun usage
they
saves
fuel money but Correct subject-verb agreement
save
also
makes
us Correct subject-verb agreement
make
to
stay fit by using Change the verb form
apply
regularly
.Correct pronoun usage
them regularly
Furthermore
, it reduce
carbon emissions .
Change the verb form
reduces
To sum up
, in my point of view ,bycycle
Correct your spelling
bicycles
are
better because they are more reliable , convenient ,Change the verb form
is
eco friendly
Add a hyphen
eco-friendly
as well as
keep us fit .However
, cars fast mode of transport to carry whole
family which can Change the article
the whole
be use
occasionally.Change the verb form
be used
Submitted by nikhilguni on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly by using paragraphs to separate your ideas. Begin with an introduction, then have at least one paragraph for each main point, and end with a conclusion.
Grammar
Be careful with the use of punctuation and avoid run-on sentences. Use commas, periods, and conjunctions correctly to make your sentences clear.
Spelling
Pay attention to spelling and try to avoid simple errors. For example, 'bycycle' should be 'bicycle,' and 'card' should be 'cars'.
Sentence Variety
Work on sentence variety to make your writing more engaging. Avoid starting sentences with 'Moreover,' 'Firstly,' etc., repetitively. Instead, use a mix of complex and simple sentences to express your points.
Paragraph Development
Make sure to develop your paragraphs with clear main ideas and supporting details. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea that supports your overall argument.
Supporting Examples
You provided specific examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, showing clear personal engagement with the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?