Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In
this
modern era,
selling
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the selling
show examples
process is unseparated with
advertisement
. Some believe that advertisements
are contributed
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contribute
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to
company's
Correct article usage
a company's
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success in increasing
communities
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communities'
community's
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interest buy.
While
others state that it
so
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is so
show examples
frequent that we often
omitted
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omit
show examples
it. In
this
essay, I will shed some light
about
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on
show examples
both views and give my opinion
why
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on why
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I agree with the previous notion. On the one hand, advertising is undoubtedly
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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contributions
Replace the word
contributes
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in
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to
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market
Correct article usage
the market
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selling process compared to
product
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products
show examples
that not advertised. In
this
fast-paced era, advertising
activities
have been advancing into variations. Back
to
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in
show examples
the past, the only
advertisement
activity occurred on TV in
videos
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video
show examples
form and brochures. Now, it transformed into various types,
such
as
billboard
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billboards
show examples
, social media, and even
on
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apply
show examples
taxi
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taxis
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and Uber. These, making advertising
activities
become so common
and
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that
show examples
people might ignore
it
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them
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due to
its
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their
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frequent occurrence.
For example
, masses
come
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who come
show examples
to work by driving may focus on the road they pass, and might not pay attention to the
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
sets
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set
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on
the
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apply
show examples
their way.
On the other hand
, advertising is needed to boost
company's
Correct article usage
a company's
show examples
income.
According to
a
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apply
show examples
research from the University of Singapore, familiarity
to
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with
show examples
a
product
may
creates
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create
show examples
a bond between sales and consumers.
Therefore
, the more people see the
advertisement
of a
product
, the
highest
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
the opportunity for them to buy it.
For example
, a new mom
see
Correct subject-verb agreement
sees
show examples
babies
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a baby's
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shampoo
product
that claimed can maintain
baby's
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a baby's
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hair
shines
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shine
show examples
and thickness. She
witness
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witnessed
show examples
it on TV, social media, and billboards every time she
drive
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drives
show examples
to work and home. When it is time for her to go
for
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apply
show examples
shopping, she
find
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finds
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the
product
that she
frequently seen
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saw
has frequently seen
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before, so she
take
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takes
show examples
it
,
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apply
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because she might think that what
familiar
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is familiar
show examples
is good.
To sum up
, advertising
activities
is
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are
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a crucial part of
marketing
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the marketing
show examples
process in a company.
Nevertheless
, companies might need to consider
to manage
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managing
show examples
these
activities
in a smart and strategic way. It is evident that familiarity can create
bond
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a bond
show examples
between both parties, but too much of it may lead to ignoration in public.
Submitted by Practicexoxo on

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Grammar
Ensure grammatical accuracy and correct use of tenses to maintain clarity throughout your essay, as minor mistakes can detract from the overall quality.
Vocabulary
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and to enhance the quality of your essay.
Structure
Although your structure is good, consider refining your introductory sentences to more clearly present the essay's thesis and your stance on the issue.
Vocabulary
Be mindful of repititions in your essay. Aim to rephrase or use synonyms to maintain interest and clarity.
Task Achievement
Your essay provided a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion, which aligns well with the task requirements.
Content
You used examples effectively to support your arguments, making your points more persuasive and relatable.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay flows logically from introduction through to conclusion, reflecting good use of coherence and cohesion techniques.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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