Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In
this
modern era,
selling
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the selling
show examples
process is unseparated with
advertisement
. Some believe that advertisements
are contributed
Wrong verb form
contribute
show examples
to
company's
Correct article usage
a company's
show examples
success in increasing
communities
Change noun form
communities'
community's
show examples
interest buy.
While
others state that it
so
Add a missing verb
is so
show examples
frequent that we often
omitted
Wrong verb form
omit
show examples
it. In
this
essay, I will shed some light
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
both views and give my opinion
why
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on why
show examples
I agree with the previous notion. On the one hand, advertising is undoubtedly
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
contributions
Replace the word
contributes
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
selling process compared to
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
that not advertised. In
this
fast-paced era, advertising
activities
have been advancing into variations. Back
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the past, the only
advertisement
activity occurred on TV in
videos
Change the noun form
video
show examples
form and brochures. Now, it transformed into various types,
such
as
billboard
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billboards
show examples
, social media, and even
on
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apply
show examples
taxi
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taxis
show examples
and Uber. These, making advertising
activities
become so common
and
Correct word choice
that
show examples
people might ignore
it
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them
show examples
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
frequent occurrence.
For example
, masses
come
Correct pronoun usage
who come
show examples
to work by driving may focus on the road they pass, and might not pay attention to the
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
sets
Wrong verb form
set
show examples
on
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their way.
On the other hand
, advertising is needed to boost
company's
Correct article usage
a company's
show examples
income.
According to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research from the University of Singapore, familiarity
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
a
product
may
creates
Change the verb form
create
show examples
a bond between sales and consumers.
Therefore
, the more people see the
advertisement
of a
product
, the
highest
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
the opportunity for them to buy it.
For example
, a new mom
see
Correct subject-verb agreement
sees
show examples
babies
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a baby's
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shampoo
product
that claimed can maintain
baby's
Correct article usage
a baby's
show examples
hair
shines
Correct subject-verb agreement
shine
show examples
and thickness. She
witness
Wrong verb form
witnessed
show examples
it on TV, social media, and billboards every time she
drive
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drives
show examples
to work and home. When it is time for her to go
for
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apply
show examples
shopping, she
find
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finds
show examples
the
product
that she
frequently seen
Add the auxiliary verb
saw
has frequently seen
show examples
before, so she
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
it
,
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apply
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because she might think that what
familiar
Add a missing verb
is familiar
show examples
is good.
To sum up
, advertising
activities
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a crucial part of
marketing
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the marketing
show examples
process in a company.
Nevertheless
, companies might need to consider
to manage
Change the verb form
managing
show examples
these
activities
in a smart and strategic way. It is evident that familiarity can create
bond
Add an article
a bond
show examples
between both parties, but too much of it may lead to ignoration in public.
Submitted by Practicexoxo on

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Grammar
Ensure grammatical accuracy and correct use of tenses to maintain clarity throughout your essay, as minor mistakes can detract from the overall quality.
Vocabulary
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Structure
Although your structure is good, consider refining your introductory sentences to more clearly present the essay's thesis and your stance on the issue.
Vocabulary
Be mindful of repititions in your essay. Aim to rephrase or use synonyms to maintain interest and clarity.
Task Achievement
Your essay provided a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion, which aligns well with the task requirements.
Content
You used examples effectively to support your arguments, making your points more persuasive and relatable.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay flows logically from introduction through to conclusion, reflecting good use of coherence and cohesion techniques.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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