Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
Nowadays, criminals are commiting more criminal offences after getting punished for the first one.
This
essay will discuss various reasons for such
behavious, i.e. difficulty in finding employement and forming swear punishment
policy. Further
, some possible solutions like creation of job opportunities and strict punishments should be formed to rectifing this
behaviour.
To begin
with, it is often difficult for offenders to find a job for themselves after getting a criminal record under their name. To clarify, During a job recruitment process, an indvidual has to clear personal interview along with
police clearance and other requirement, and during that process an individual won't get a green flag for police check hence
, end up losing the opportunity. Moreover
, In some cases offenders are not imposed to a harsh punishment
, which might make an individual think of as an easy let go and would try to reattempt the punishment
. For example
: In some nations, a person with acquition of murder is just granted a five year imprisonment.
A seprate portal to apply jobs should be created for criminals. so that they can proceed with their recruitment process without any going through police check. It will help them to earn living for themselves and their family withoud doing any illegal stuff. In addition
to that, strict punishment
plan should be developed for serious offenders to make sure they don't repeat the offense. To exemplify: death sentence or chopping off the private part is the only punishments offered to rapists in islamic countries.
To conclude
, major causes of reattempting the crime could be easily rectified by forming strict punishment
plans and opening jobs portal to help them earn their living.Submitted by vasudha.gupta0818 on
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Language
Emphasize on refining your spelling and grammar to enhance clarity and precision. For instance, 'commiting' should be 'committing', 'employement' should be 'employment', and 'acquition' should be 'acquisition'.
Style
Make sure to provide a more varied range of sentence structures to enrich your essay's readability and flow. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can add depth to your argumentation.
Content
Try to include a wider variety of examples to support your points. While you provided a concrete example for punishments, expanding on how job portals specifically could aid offenders would make your argument stronger.
Critical Thinking
Consider a more nuanced discussion on the ethical implications and feasibility of suggested punishments, ensuring a balanced and thoughtful exploration of the topic.
Introduction
You effectively introduced the topic and outlined the essay structure in the introduction, setting a clear direction for your discussion.
Conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarized the key points, reinforcing the essay's main arguments effectively.
Example Use
Providing specific examples, such as the difficulties faced by offenders in finding employment and the mention of punishment severity in Islamic countries, helped in illustrating your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.