Today, newspapers and televisions are giving detailed descriptions on crimes. Some people believe such a practice will cause bad consequences and thus media should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
it's not suitable for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public media to share details of a
crime
with common
people
.
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
show examples
when we know that children may watch TV or listen to
radio
Add an article
the radio
show examples
and come across
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one of these details. On
ther
Correct your spelling
the
other hand, there are some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
who like to have more information
from
Change preposition
about
show examples
crime
and
crime
scene
Fix the agreement mistake
scenes
show examples
. These
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
of
people
are curious about the reasons that a criminal may do
such
a
crime
and why he chose that place to go for his/her plan. Despite the fact that
this
group of
people
find
this
matter amusing, it's not morally correct to share
description
Add an article
a description
the description
show examples
of a
crime
.
Also
, when
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
are informed about the way that the illegal act happened, it might raise
crime
range in the city or even the whole country. It's because
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
havee
Correct your spelling
have
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
with anger management and they at the time that they are furious about a matter, their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
know different ways to commit a
crime
just because they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
known about the specific
crime
before from public media. So, it's better to not share chronicles of the act with society.
Also
, sharing
particulart
Correct your spelling
particular
parts of a
crime
,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
effect on
people
's
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
. It might
scares
Change the verb form
scare
show examples
them when they are in the same situation, another problem
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
knowing descriptions is
when
Correct word choice
that
show examples
it has bad effects on
people
's unconscious. They might see horrible dreams in their sleep and
this
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the quality of their day and their job. So,
effects
Correct article usage
the effects
show examples
go
further
and
further
without knowing what is the reason and what is the problem. In conclusion,
illustration
Fix the agreement mistake
illustrations
show examples
should be hidden with limited access for those
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are working on the case and are dealing with the criminal.
Clearly
Add a comma
Clearly,
show examples
it's not
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
to know everything. It's
enought
Correct your spelling
enough
to find out about minor items
such
as
whho
Correct your spelling
who
was the lawbreaker, if the police have caught the person, or maybe inform locals about the procedure of the case.
Submitted by maryamnikfekr on

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Introduction Clarity
Clarify your viewpoint more distinctly in the introduction to directly address the question of whether media should be restricted.
Cohesion
Use a wider range of connectors and discourse markers to enhance the cohesion and fluidity between sentences and paragraphs.
Specific Examples
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to strengthen the arguments you make, enhancing the persuasive power of your essay.
Balanced Argument
Pay attention to presenting a balanced view if you choose to discuss both sides of the argument, making sure to elaborate on how each perspective supports your overall stance.
Grammar and Accuracy
Review and correct minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance the readability of your essay. While minor errors are permissible, clear communication is essential.
Task Response
Your essay effectively outlines the reasons against media sharing detailed crime descriptions, reflecting good task achievement.
Structure
The structure of your essay, with a clear progression from introduction to conclusion, aids in presenting your argument logically.
Conclusion
Your conclusion successfully summarizes your viewpoint, reiterating the central arguments of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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