People should follow the customs and traditions when they start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, there has been an increase in
people
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living in a new country. Oftentimes, these
people
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have to adapt and try to learn the various customs and
traditions
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of the new
place
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they are living. I believe that following the customs and
traditions
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of the area
one
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is currently living in will be beneficial for them. Leaving the
place
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that
one
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grew up in can be difficult.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
can be an opportunity to learn and appreciate new cultures.
For example
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,
people
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living in Asia have a tight-knit family
culture
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, where several generations of family are living under
one
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roof.
This
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kind of lifestyle can be seen in Western
culture
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as a negative trait. With
this
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, foreign
people
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who moved to Asian countries, have stated that the family
culture
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is a positive tradition
people
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should follow.
This
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has resulted in to increase in positive family dynamics that these immigrants followed. Another thing, adapting to the
culture
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and
traditions
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of the new
place
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can result in making more connections with others and widening
one
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's perspective. As
one
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tries to learn the different
traditions
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, they are often more open to trying new things
such
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as learning what are the do's and don'ts of making friends in that area which can result in making more friends. Widening
one
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's perspective can be done in many ways. It can be through attending festivals and holiday events.
For example
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,
people
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who moved to the Philippines have mentioned that
Christmas
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is very different to the
Christmas
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they are used to, as
this
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event is more focused on celebrating Christ's birth
as well as
Linking Words
family gatherings
whereas
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,
Christmas
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in Western countries is just another holiday.
This
Linking Words
has made others realise that there is more to
Christmas
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than just a simple occasion of giving and receiving gifts. In conclusion,
people
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who immigrate to another country should try to learn and follow the different customs and
traditions
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of the
place
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they immigrated to. Doing so,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can positively impact them by giving them the opportunity to learn about new cultures, establish more connections and widen different perspectives.
Submitted by estillorericamae on

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Task Achievement
Try to explore both sides of the argument to provide a more balanced view, even if the final standpoint favors one side. This approach can enrich your essay and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Integrate a wider range of linking phrases to enhance flow and cohesion. While the essay is already well-structured, varying your connectors and transitional phrases can make the text even more seamless.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for your argument, effectively outlining the essay's direction.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples to support your points significantly strengthens your argument, making it more compelling and concrete.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points and restates your position, reinforcing your argument's impact.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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