People should follow the customs and traditions when they start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, there has been an increase in
people
living in a new country. Oftentimes, these people
have to adapt and try to learn the various customs and traditions
of the new place
they are living. I believe that following the customs and traditions
of the area one
is currently living in will be beneficial for them.
Leaving the place
that one
grew up in can be difficult. However
, this
can be an opportunity to learn and appreciate new cultures. For example
, people
living in Asia have a tight-knit family culture
, where several generations of family are living under one
roof. This
kind of lifestyle can be seen in Western culture
as a negative trait. With this
, foreign people
who moved to Asian countries, have stated that the family culture
is a positive tradition people
should follow. This
has resulted in to increase in positive family dynamics that these immigrants followed.
Another thing, adapting to the culture
and traditions
of the new place
can result in making more connections with others and widening one
's perspective. As one
tries to learn the different traditions
, they are often more open to trying new things such
as learning what are the do's and don'ts of making friends in that area which can result in making more friends. Widening one
's perspective can be done in many ways. It can be through attending festivals and holiday events. For example
, people
who moved to the Philippines have mentioned that Christmas
is very different to the Christmas
they are used to, as this
event is more focused on celebrating Christ's birth as well as
family gatherings whereas
, Christmas
in Western countries is just another holiday. This
has made others realise that there is more to Christmas
than just a simple occasion of giving and receiving gifts.
In conclusion, people
who immigrate to another country should try to learn and follow the different customs and traditions
of the place
they immigrated to. Doing so, this
can positively impact them by giving them the opportunity to learn about new cultures, establish more connections and widen different perspectives.Correct pronoun usage
apply
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Task Achievement
Try to explore both sides of the argument to provide a more balanced view, even if the final standpoint favors one side. This approach can enrich your essay and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Integrate a wider range of linking phrases to enhance flow and cohesion. While the essay is already well-structured, varying your connectors and transitional phrases can make the text even more seamless.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for your argument, effectively outlining the essay's direction.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples to support your points significantly strengthens your argument, making it more compelling and concrete.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points and restates your position, reinforcing your argument's impact.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite