People should follow the customs and traditions when they start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #customs #traditions #country

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In recent years, there has been an increase in

people

Use synonyms

living in a new country. Oftentimes, these

people

Use synonyms

have to adapt and try to learn the various customs and

traditions

Use synonyms

of the new

place

Use synonyms

they are living. I believe that following the customs and

traditions

Use synonyms

of the area

one

Use synonyms

is currently living in will be beneficial for them. Leaving the

place

Use synonyms

that

one

Use synonyms

grew up in can be difficult.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can be an opportunity to learn and appreciate new cultures.

For example

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

living in Asia have a tight-knit family

culture

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, where several generations of family are living under

one

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roof.

This

Linking Words

kind of lifestyle can be seen in Western

culture

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as a negative trait. With

this

Linking Words

, foreign

people

Use synonyms

who moved to Asian countries, have stated that the family

culture

Use synonyms

is a positive tradition

people

Use synonyms

should follow.

This

Linking Words

has resulted in to increase in positive family dynamics that these immigrants followed. Another thing, adapting to the

culture

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and

traditions

Use synonyms

of the new

place

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can result in making more connections with others and widening

one

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's perspective. As

one

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tries to learn the different

traditions

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, they are often more open to trying new things

such

Linking Words

as learning what are the do's and don'ts of making friends in that area which can result in making more friends. Widening

one

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's perspective can be done in many ways. It can be through attending festivals and holiday events.

For example

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who moved to the Philippines have mentioned that

Christmas

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is very different to the

Christmas

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they are used to, as

this

Linking Words

event is more focused on celebrating Christ's birth

as well as

Linking Words

family gatherings

whereas

Linking Words

Christmas

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in Western countries is just another holiday.

This

Linking Words

has made others realise that there is more to

Christmas

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than just a simple occasion of giving and receiving gifts. In conclusion,

people

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who immigrate to another country should try to learn and follow the different customs and

traditions

Use synonyms

of the

place

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they immigrated to. Doing so,

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can positively impact them by giving them the opportunity to learn about new cultures, establish more connections and widen different perspectives.

Submitted by estillorericamae on Tue Apr 30 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to explore both sides of the argument to provide a more balanced view, even if the final standpoint favors one side. This approach can enrich your essay and show a deeper understanding of the topic.

Coherence & Cohesion

Integrate a wider range of linking phrases to enhance flow and cohesion. While the essay is already well-structured, varying your connectors and transitional phrases can make the text even more seamless.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction clearly sets the stage for your argument, effectively outlining the essay's direction.

Task Achievement

The use of specific examples to support your points significantly strengthens your argument, making it more compelling and concrete.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points and restates your position, reinforcing your argument's impact.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

349 words

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People should follow the customs and traditions when they start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that modern games do not develop skill in children.However traditional games developed skills in childhood.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In maby countries, governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

In many parts of the world, people are choosin gto have fewer children. Why do you think this is happening? What impacts may it have on society?

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?