Some people believe that dangerous sports should be banned to what extent you agree or disagree

The majority of
people
believe that high-risk
sports
are very dangerous. It should be illogical from my perspective.
This
sport young generation can bad affect. I totally agree with
this
and I will discuss it.
On the other hand
, all over the world has live never been easy. A variety of competitive activities are available. Some of them are entertaining and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
very dangerous. Some dangerous
sports
are boxing, car and bike racing, etc. It is our country. Very risky sport.
For instance
, a very talented bike racer riding in our country Mayk Krishna he is the
last
year fell off his bike and broke his leg
then
Correct your spelling
when
show examples
he was
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
a wheelchair.
Moreover
, in the same
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
some
people
died.
therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, the government should
banned
Change the verb form
ban
show examples
the same
sports
.
On the other hand
, other
sports
like cricket, swimming etc. They are very
eentertaining
Correct your spelling
entertaining
and they are very competitive and happy
sports
.
therefore
all over the world,
people
engage in support and they enjoy it. The sport can bring their country to winning. In my perspective, it is
people
who can engage in more and more safe
sports
. In conclusion, all over the world
people
say that dangerous
sports
need to be banned. Because
Change preposition
of this
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
sports
people
high
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
risk their lives.
Therefore
, they can engage
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainment spores. The government should
banned
Change the verb form
ban
show examples
the
sports
of the
people
living in their citizen.
Submitted by ma.ushamanu1024 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to maintain clarity in your ideas by organizing them in a more structured manner. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different points.
task achievement
Use examples to support your points, but ensure they are tied directly to the argument you are making for a stronger impact.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with grammar and word choice to enhance the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
task achievement
Engage with the topic directly and consistently throughout your essay to keep your argument focused and relevant.
task achievement
You have a clear position throughout the essay, which is good for task response.
task achievement
You've used examples to support your points, demonstrating an understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your perspective well, reinforcing your argument effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • engagement
  • incentives
  • obesity
  • recreation
  • well-being
  • peer pressure
  • physical fitness
  • endurance
  • balance
  • teamwork
  • coordination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • discipline
  • facilities
  • accessible
  • affordable
  • curriculum
  • extracurricular
  • inclusion
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