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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree courses. The table shows the salaries of anthropologists in work after 5 years.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree courses. The table shows the salaries of anthropologists in work after 5 years.
#anthropology #graduates #university #courses #salaries #anthropologists #work #years
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The pie chart illustrates what is the destination of Anthropology graduates from a university and the table depicts the
amount
 of salary which anthropologists earn after 5 years
Change preposition
of services
show examples
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
show examples
.
It is clear that
 most of
graduated
Add an article
the graduated
show examples
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 in
this
 field have Full-time work and working for the Government sector had the most income. Regarding the statistics what stands out from the scheme is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 over half part of
graduates
Correct article usage
the graduates
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
52% had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Full-time
Fix capitalization
full-time
show examples
 work. It is noticeable the Part-time sector had 15% and Unemployed persons showed 12% which means that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they had a minimal difference.
Moreover
, both the Full-time
post grad
Add a hyphen
post-grad
show examples
 students portion and the Not known segment had the same
amount
 (8%). Focusing on the Part-time work individuals with
Post grad
Correct your spelling
Postgrad
show examples
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
clarify
Correct subject-verb agreement
clarifies
show examples
 that,
this
 group had the fewest
amount
 of members with 5%. looking closely at the graphs show that, Freelance consultants were in the lowest point of revenue with 5%
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
earned from 25,000 to 50,000 $
while
 in the highest
amount
 of income with 40% they had earned between 75000 to more than 100000$.
In addition
, half of
employees
Add an article
the employees
show examples
 in the Government sector made more than 100000$
also
,
45
Correct word choice
and 45
show examples
% received between 50000 and 100000$. It is remarkable that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 in Private
companies
Add a comma
companies,
show examples
 25% of people had
salary
Add an article
a salary
show examples
 from 75000 to 100000$
however
, the number of workers with 50000 to 75000$ significantly increased by 10% and the rate of individuals who earned more than 100000$ slightly climbed by 5%.
Submitted by bakhti on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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