The diagram below shows the steps of processing cocoa beans.

#steps #cocoa #beans

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The given picture depicts the stages of processing cocoa beans.

Overall

Linking Words

, there are main products

Correct quantifier usage

such as

show examples

shells and beans and 3 major stages

such

Linking Words

as picking, drying and pressing. By

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

items

Add a comma

items,

show examples

cocao

Correct your spelling

cocoa

cacao

powder,liquor and other chocolate products can be produced . To commence with,

firstly

Linking Words

whole beans or shells will be picked to be

dryed

Correct your spelling

dried

Secondly

Linking Words

, they will go through the pressing to be cocoa cake or industrial cake. To make a cake ,

main

Add an article

the main

show examples

product will be

grinded

Correct your spelling

ground

show examples

into powder or liquor and

then

Linking Words

it will be ready for consumers and industry.By adding sugar it will appear as

a chocolate

Remove the article

chocolate

a bar of chocolate

show examples

Then

Linking Words

after processing it will be ready to be consumed as chocolate products.

Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on Tue Apr 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

115 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
It is important to give children an opportunity to become independent and make decisions from early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
People hold distinctive opinions regarding a debate which is linked to youngsters should be self-sufficient or not. Some people claim that children should be independent and make their own decisions, while others think that kids should not be independent. In my opinion, athough there are plausible arguments to support this perspective, there are also reasons to disagree with it.
5
band
Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student's performance. Continual assessment, such as coursework and projects, is not a satisfactory way to do this. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, formal examinations are a standard method of fairness in the evaluation process to evaluate the student’s performance. Formal examinations can evaluate skills such as learning and critical thinking in stressful situations but I totally disagree that formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student’s performance because formal examinations cannot evaluate the creative skill and survival skill. I think continual assessment is the other effective way to assess a student's performance.
7.5
band
The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Owing to the problems which a growing population of overweight people cause for the healthcare system, some people think that the key to solving these issues is to have more sport and exercise in schools. I completely agree that this is the best way to tackle the issue of deteriorating public health in relation to weight.
4.5
band
Young people are more likely to be involved in car accidents, therefore the legal driving age should be raised to 22 years old. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is known that young adult lack attention while driving as they are not fully focused on the road, therefore this behaviour leads them into car accidents. In different nations the legal age of driving varies and even have different rules. I believe that not the driving age is the problem that causes car accidents,but most likely their reckless behaviour is one of the main factor for this statement.
5.5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people who does their higher education prefer to study additional areas outside the targeted one, while others think that it is more crucial to focus and spend time on a qualified goal. While investing all to the prefered degree can ease the money-making process later on, I believe learning more about other topics is better because it makes us more developed individuals.

The diagram below shows the steps of processing cocoa beans.

It is important to give children an opportunity to become independent and make decisions from early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student's performance. Continual assessment, such as coursework and projects, is not a satisfactory way to do this. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Young people are more likely to be involved in car accidents, therefore the legal driving age should be raised to 22 years old. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.