The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from1970-2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040
The line graph gives information about the
proportion
of people
from four Asian countries living in the
urban areas between 1970 and 2020, with prognostication for 2030 and 2040.
Correct article usage
apply
Overall
, it can be seen that the percentage of population
in four different countries increased over the period. The Indonesian Add an article
the population
people
were the lowest at the beginning of the period, however
, the proportion
of the community from Malaysia will be
highest Wrong verb form
was
at the end
.
To begin
in 1970 percentage
of Correct article usage
the percentage
people
from Phillippine
and Malaysia Correct article usage
the Phillippine
were
approximately 30% and following Correct subject-verb agreement
was
next
50 years Correct article usage
the next
Correct article usage
the Phillippines
Phillippines
Correct your spelling
Phillippine
people
fluctuated with prediction
they Correct article usage
the prediction
will
be around 50% in 2040. Wrong verb form
would
While
,
the Remove the comma
apply
proportion
of the population from Malaysia just increased during the period and will be more that
80% in 2040.
Correct word choice
than
Futhermore
, Indonesian Correct your spelling
Furthermore
people
stood at around 12% at the beginning, which was 5% less than Thailand`s community at the same time. The proportion
of Indonesia significantly rose until 2020 and it will be second place between the countries in 2040. Althought
, the percentage of Thailand`s Correct your spelling
Although
people
gradually increased in the next following 50 years and it is forecased
to be the lowest in 2040.Correct your spelling
forecasted
forecast
Submitted by janmuldayevaa1 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!