Write about the following topic: Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Computers
are one of the irreplaceable inventions the world has seen in the century
. I strongly agree Correct word choice
past century
to
the fact Change preposition
with
as
the magnitude ofChange preposition
that
good will
the Correct your spelling
goodwill
computers
have made in our lives
is unremarkable.
The main point to be highlighted here is how easy our lives
have become with the birth of computers
, in terms of data
gathering and management. Although
from
thousands of Change preposition
for
years
Add a comma
years,
data
has been collected and stored, the easiness in
which a larger amount of Change preposition
with
data
can be saved, managed and manipulated is only due to
the rise of computers
. As per latest
Correct article usage
the latest
reports
Add a comma
reports,
computers
have the capability to store information of
our upcoming 10 generations. Not only Change preposition
about
does
Change the verb form
do
computers
help in storing data
, but also
the simplicity with which it can be retrieved is worthwhile to be noted, moreover
the "anytime-anywhere" phrase used by computer scholars reminds us about the fact that we can work, learn and access anything we want at anytime
, irrespective of location, reminding us of how easy our Replace the word
any time
lives
have become.
Another notable contribution computers
have brought into our lives
is time
, not only does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
it
help us perform sophisticated tasks in a matter of minutes but Correct pronoun usage
they
also
saves
our Correct subject-verb agreement
save
time
, which can be used for doing other tasks. When a
average human takes hours to solve complicated problems, Change the article
an
computers
are able to solve them within fraction
of a second. Add an article
a fraction
Computers
have improved the effeciency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
in
which humans work, improving the final output of tasks, Change preposition
with
while
reducing physical
stress of Add an article
the physical
meeitng
deadlines. Correct your spelling
meeting
Moreover
it has helped people have more of their Add a comma
Moreover,
lesiure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
, improving time
with their families and enhancing relations with people.
In conclusion, computers
are the most important invention of not only the last
century but also
of all time
making people more effecient
Correct your spelling
efficient
at
their daily Change preposition
in
lives
. The importance computers
play in our lives
should not to
be considered insignificant, Change the verb form
apply
furthermore
we all should take it as a blessing of our generation.Add a comma
furthermore,
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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to add complexity and fluidity to your writing.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific, real-world examples to support your arguments for a stronger impact.
General
Make an effort to proofread your essay to catch and correct minor grammatical errors and typos.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, clearly stating your position on the importance of computers.
Logical Structure
You've done well to link your main points logically, demonstrating how computers have revolutionized data management and time efficiency.
Engagement
Your enthusiasm and strong stance on the subject come across clearly, engaging the reader.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example