Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Agreed because giving the financial aid
it
is helping but not enough to sustain or improve Correct pronoun usage
apply
life
quality of the people in poorer Add an article
the life
country
. So not just financial aid if possible they should help with technology support to solve the Fix the agreement mistake
countries
problem
that certain Fix the agreement mistake
problems
country
facing Fix the agreement mistake
countries
such
as stravation
, clean Correct your spelling
starvation
water
, polution
, civil war or war, etc. Because some of the Correct your spelling
pollution
problem
can Change to a plural noun
problems
be solve
Change the verb form
be solved
start
Wrong verb form
starting
from have
good food to eat or clean Change preposition
with having
water
to drink and be
able to sustain food and Wrong verb form
being
water
securelity
in Correct your spelling
security
life
even without recive
help from the developed Correct your spelling
receive
country
. But that is
not gonna solve poverty but that is
still a good start. Education is next
thing to improve in the poor Correct article usage
the next
country
better education better life
. So the Correct your spelling
country
county
counrty
can start developing Correct your spelling
country
Correct your spelling
their
thier
own economy and Correct your spelling
its
life
quality of the people
In Correct article usage
the life
conclusion
financial aid is helping but not enough in my opinion if possible should help Add a comma
conclusion,
poor
Add an article
the poor
country
to Fix the agreement mistake
countries
be
sustainable Verb problem
have
life
have good food, clean Fix the agreement mistake
lives
water
, clean air, education and economicSubmitted by atiwat.simprasertth on
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introduction
Try to introduce your essay with a clearer statement about your stance on the topic. This can help the reader understand your position from the beginning.
examples
Provide more detailed examples to support your arguments. Specific cases or hypothetical scenarios can greatly enhance your point of view.
structure
Work on structuring your essay with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea. Use connecting words to help the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
conclusion
Consider revising your conclusion to reinforce your argument by summarizing the main points and reiterating your position more forcefully.
topic coverage
You've made a good attempt to cover the topic broadly, acknowledging the complexity of poverty and suggesting a multifaceted approach to aid.
insight
Your promotion of sustainable solutions over simple financial aid shows an understanding of the deeper issues involved in aiding poorer countries.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite