The maps below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

The maps below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.
These two maps depict a public
park
in two distinctive timelines, one is for the the first day after the opening of
this
place in 1920, and the other one is for today.
Overall
, we can see a lot of changes have happened in
this
area and turned
this
park
into a recreation
park
for all individuals,
moreover
, the only thing that remained unchanged is the rose garden which is located in the north-west of
this
area.
Firstly
, the Fountain in the middle of
this
park
from 1920, was destroyed completely and turned into an enormous rose garden, surrounded by four seats for people.
Secondly
, on the west side of
this
area
Add a comma
area,
show examples
a massive Amphitheatre for concerts was erected which used to be a Stage for musicians back in 1920.
Thirdly
, the rose garden and Pond for water plants in the northeast were removed
instead
, we can see a new cafe and a Children's playground on today’s date.
Lastly
, these days, there is a Water feature close to Eldon Street ,
also
, near
this
Water feature, we can see an underground car
park
for individuals, they both were built in the same place which used to be a glasshouse and some seats in 1920.
Submitted by abbasisarina340 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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