The maps below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

#maps #show #park #first

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These two maps depict a public

park

Use synonyms

in two distinctive timelines, one is for the the first day after the opening of

this

Linking Words

place in 1920, and the other one is for today.

Overall

Linking Words

, we can see a lot of changes have happened in

this

Linking Words

area and turned

this

Linking Words

park

Use synonyms

into a recreation

park

Use synonyms

for all individuals,

moreover

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, the only thing that remained unchanged is the rose garden which is located in the north-west of

this

Linking Words

area.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the Fountain in the middle of

this

Linking Words

park

Use synonyms

from 1920, was destroyed completely and turned into an enormous rose garden, surrounded by four seats for people.

Secondly

Linking Words

, on the west side of

this

Linking Words

area

Add a comma

area,

show examples

a massive Amphitheatre for concerts was erected which used to be a Stage for musicians back in 1920.

Thirdly

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, the rose garden and Pond for water plants in the northeast were removed

instead

Linking Words

, we can see a new cafe and a Children's playground on today’s date.

Lastly

Linking Words

, these days, there is a Water feature close to Eldon Street ,

also

Linking Words

, near

this

Linking Words

Water feature, we can see an underground car

park

Use synonyms

for individuals, they both were built in the same place which used to be a glasshouse and some seats in 1920.

Submitted by abbasisarina340 on Tue Apr 30 2024

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

203 words

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The maps below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

Some children spend hours everyday in their smartphone. why is this the case? do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

In some places old age is valued,while other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. why is this? Do you think it is a positive or nrgative development?

Nowadays we are producing more and more garbage. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.