Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?
Now a days
, Correct the word
Nowadays
due to
advancement
in Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
technology
, many working professionals are able do
their Add the particle
to do
work
remotely, at coffee shop
or Fix the agreement mistake
shops
home
, away from their Fix the agreement mistake
homes
work
office
. Fix the agreement mistake
offices
Although
this
modern technology
have
many advantages, it Change the verb form
has
also
creates health and relationships problems.
One of the major advantage
of Change to a plural noun
advantages
this
mobile technology
is that one can do his office
work
from home
or any other convenient place. This
provides greater flexibility to the working person which can lead to better performance of him in work
. Another advantage is that while
working from home
, we don’t need to commute to office
and back Add an article
the office
an office
to
Change preposition
apply
home
, which will ultimately saves
our precise working time and money. Change the verb form
save
Also
one can check and reply to his important emails and calls during his Add a comma
Also,
long term
vacation, which gives Add a hyphen
long-term
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
work
-life balance.
Despite of
above mentioned Change preposition
apply
advantage
, we shall Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
also
pay attention to the drawbacks of using this
modern information technology
. While
working from home
, working hours should not be more. If working for more hours then
it is believed that this
will have detrimental
effect on health Add an article
a detrimental
at
Change preposition
in
long
run. Working extensively may Add an article
the long
also
lead to less time available for loved ones which can impact the relationships with them. We had spent more time with family also
we can
do more activities go to Wrong verb form
could
gym
, theatre and camping with our Correct article usage
the gym
friend
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
friends
The
modern Correct article usage
apply
technology
provides greater flexibility to work
as per our convenience and location, attention to personal health and life it will better
in the former Add a missing verb
be better
also
we can save more money because we don't need to commute to office
.Add an article
the office
Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to organize your thoughts more clearly, using distinct paragraphs for each main idea. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and transition signals to improve the coherence and connect your ideas more smoothly.
Task Response
Ensure your introduction clearly states whether you believe the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. This sets a clear direction for your essay.
Task Response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will enrich your argument and make your essay more compelling.
Task Response
Acknowledges both the benefits and drawbacks of working remotely, showing a balanced view.
Coherence & Cohesion
Concludes effectively by summarizing the key points made throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!