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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in 2009.

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in 2009.
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The bar chart compares shares of expenditures for different main categories in four countries in 2009.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 shares of food housing and transportation had
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a noticeable
show examples
noticeable
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noticeably
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high
Correct word choice
apply
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increase in the United
States
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,
Canada
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, the United
Kingdom
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 and
Japan
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 compared to other figures
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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were
health
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as health
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 care and clothing. Regarding Food expenditure,
Japan
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 stood at the highest level and it doubled approximately that United
States
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, standing at 23 per
cent
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. In the United
Kingdom
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, there was
slight
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a slight
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 rise in food expenditure than
Canada
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, at around 21 per
cent
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 and 15 per
cent
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, respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Housing was the highest figure among other expenditures.
Canada
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 was the lowest index in
this
Linking Words
 category, standing at 20 per
cent
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.
Japan
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 and the United
Kingdom
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 were higher than it and they had 2 per
cent
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 and 4 per
cent
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 increases, compared to
Canada
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's figure. In housing,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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States
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was
Verb problem
had
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 exactly the biggest number, at around 26 per
cent
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the figures for Transportation in the United
States
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 and
Canada
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 did not have a big difference, standing at 19 per
cent
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 and 20 per
cent
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, respectively. The United
Kingdom
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's index was higher than
Japan
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's. As for Health care and Clothing expenditures, in all parts there were unnoticeable figures, they all were under the 10 per
cent
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 index.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words states, canada, kingdom, japan, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditures
  • categories
  • shares
  • percentage
  • comparison
  • analysis
  • factors
  • spending patterns
  • living standards
  • priorities
  • trends
  • bar chart
  • economic
  • cultural influences
  • household budget
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