For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

in recent times ,
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
begin
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
important in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
and
its begin
Correct your spelling
it has become
show examples
a tradition in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
people
shoping every time online or
Change preposition
in others
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
ways ,some
people
believe that shopping
brings
Verb problem
has
show examples
several cons in
life
, and in another view say
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
fine , in
this
essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree with the firs view I will demonstrate that forther and give reasons.
to begin
with , shopping online
begin
Wrong verb form
has begun
show examples
overrunning
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our modern
life
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
the situation
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier for the individual and the exposure
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
ideas and
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
show examples
can
influnce
Correct your spelling
influence
in our thoughts and behaviour ,
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
some
people
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
things that they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
need
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
such
us
puing
Correct your spelling
putting
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new clothes because just seeing it in online .
secondly
, shopping can impact
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
stayle
Correct your spelling
style
state
and the way we live so things that
an
Change the article
a
show examples
necessary change
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
the person and in time cant be clear if the material
realy
Correct your spelling
really
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
it or not ,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
show examples
that
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
a lot
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
his time ,energy, and important thing money because when the individual had several things he
cant
Change the verb form
cants
show examples
foucs
Correct your spelling
focus
in the important thing in his
life
.
to sum up
,
people
enjoy shopping
Correct word choice
whether if
show examples
if its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
online or going
Change preposition
to shops
show examples
shops
Correct subject-verb agreement
shop
show examples
all these can change the way and
the
Change the word
their
show examples
behaviour , if the
individaual foucs
Correct your spelling
individual focuses
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
what is important in his
life
.
Submitted by abdulelah.gh3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Try to clearly introduce your topic and state your opinion in the introduction to give the reader a clear understanding of your stance from the beginning.
Task Achievement
Use examples to support your points more effectively. Specific instances can help illustrate your views and strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and subsequent sentences should support that idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion in a clear manner.
General
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. This will help in making your essay more coherent and engaging.
General
You've engaged with the topic in a personal and reflective manner, showing an understanding of the effects of shopping on modern life.
Content
You've managed to touch upon several relevant issues related to shopping, indicating a good grasp of the topic's complexity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!