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Band 2.5

The process diagram details the steps by which liquid chocolcate is produced from cocoa beans.

#process #steps #chocolcate #cocoa #beans
The above depiction illustrates
stages
Correct article usage
the stages
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 of processing cacao beans.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 there are 3 primary stages in the manufacturing of chocolate products, which begin with the picking and peeling
the
Change preposition
of the
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 shells of beans and end with the refining of final goods for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumption. The first phase involves preparing beans by peeling
shells
Correct pronoun usage
their shells
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of
Change preposition
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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for drying, as the process diagram shows.The second part contains 2 ways of pressing to make things with cacao, by
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 pressing cocoa cake is being produced and by grinding
this
 bakery,
appears
Verb problem
apply
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powder
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is delivered to stores for consumption and liquor
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is used for
cakes
Correct article usage
the cakes
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 and drinks industry. By adding sugar in another refining industrial chocolate is produced.The third stage is the final one because
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 finished stuff
are
Change the verb form
is
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 ready to be consumed in the local stores.
Submitted by aizered097 on

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Introduction/Conclusion
Provide a more detailed introduction and conclusion to fully present your overview of the process.
Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the flow between sentences and sections.
Structure
Introduce each stage with clearer topic sentences to improve the logical structure and make it easier for the reader to follow.
Detailing
To improve Task Achievement, make sure every stage of the process is described accurately with specific details.
Task response
You have clearly identified the main stages of the process, showing a good understanding of the task requirement.
Organization
Your division of the process into three primary stages helps in organizing the essay logically.
Vocabulary
The use of specific terminology related to the chocolate production process is commendable and enhances the quality of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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