For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #form #entertainment #development

Many

people

believe that shopping is not just buying what is needed

also

it is a kind of enjoyment. In my opinion, there are some benefits and drawbacks to

this

topic

however

also

believe that negative sides more than positive ones.

To begin

with, it can be observed that fashion has advanced and grown with time and every year different types of clothes get popular so

for

this

reason

people

tend to buy more new things.

Moreover

this

development will significant positive impact on brands because profit will increase.

For instance

, one of my friends created a new fashion brand because of the high number. So, companies will be highly pleasure because they can sell their product easily.

However

, customers will not be as happy as companies because

this

improvement can be dangerous for them.

In addition

, buyers can manipulate advertisements and

this

causes overspending their money. They think it can be entertainment for them but it is clearly a marketing strategy.

For example

, girls tend to buy products that are used by influencers and they think it is beneficial for them but it will be an addiction problem in the future.

Also

, nowadays the number of

people

who have a shopping addiction highly increased.

Furthermore

, improvement in shopping will be harmful to their financial situations so

people

need priority to buy new things. In conclusion,

people

tend to buy unnecessary things recently and they think it is like a passion for them. Despite

this

thinking, in my opinion,

this

development has more drawbacks and affects

people

negatively way so society should be aware of what they actually need to buy.

Submitted by muge2k on Wed May 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Try to present your arguments more clearly and structure them in paragraphs that logically progress from one to the next.

introduction and conclusion

Include a more distinct introduction and conclusion that clearly state your viewpoint and summarise your main arguments.

addressing the task

To strengthen your task achievement, explicitly address the question of whether shopping as a form of entertainment is a positive or negative development, providing balanced perspectives before concluding with your own opinion.

cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay and make your argumentation more cohesive.

examples

You provided relevant examples to support your points, which adds depth to your argument.

task engagement

Your essay engages with the topic in a way that reflects personal reflection and societal observation, which is good for task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is general acceptance that education is crucial for human beings. Provide quality education, Schools play a more important role in facilitating a suitable environment for children. This includes private schools which is a great option for many parents sending their children to effective schools. So, from my point of view, private schools need to get support from the government. In this essay, I will provide my reason in the following paragraphs.
5
band
In many countries, people are spending more hours at their workplace. Why is that? Is that a negative and positive development?
In numerous nations, it is true that overtime working is becoming increasingly prevalent. This essay will first outline the underlying reasons for this tren before showing that this is overall a negative trend.
4.5
band
13/05 Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over the fact that some people believe that to prevent illness and disease, governments should prioritize reducing environmental pollution and addressing housing issues. I consider myself as an advocate of this idea.
<4
band
POPULATION: The number of people who decide not to have children has increased greatly Do you think this is a positive or negative development
Normally in many societies, many couples hope and make efforts to have children as soon as possible after they marry. In fact, "childfree" phenomenon which refers to a couples who decide not to have children has increased greatly and become a new trend . In my view, this phenomenon should be perceived as a positive trend for two main reasons.
5.5
band
In some coutries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them
Nowadays in many countries around the globe people are affected by gaining more weight due to bad happens of eating as well as having issues with health fitness that is declining.

For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many countries, people are spending more hours at their workplace. Why is that? Is that a negative and positive development?

13/05 Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

POPULATION: The number of people who decide not to have children has increased greatly Do you think this is a positive or negative development

In some coutries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them