For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #form #entertainment #development

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Many

people

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believe that shopping is not just buying what is needed

also

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it is a kind of enjoyment. In my opinion, there are some benefits and drawbacks to

this

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topic

however

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also

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believe that negative sides more than positive ones.

To begin

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with, it can be observed that fashion has advanced and grown with time and every year different types of clothes get popular so

for

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this

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reason

people

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tend to buy more new things.

Moreover

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this

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development will significant positive impact on brands because profit will increase.

For instance

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, one of my friends created a new fashion brand because of the high number. So, companies will be highly pleasure because they can sell their product easily.

However

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, customers will not be as happy as companies because

this

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improvement can be dangerous for them.

In addition

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, buyers can manipulate advertisements and

this

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causes overspending their money. They think it can be entertainment for them but it is clearly a marketing strategy.

For example

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, girls tend to buy products that are used by influencers and they think it is beneficial for them but it will be an addiction problem in the future.

Also

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, nowadays the number of

people

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who have a shopping addiction highly increased.

Furthermore

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, improvement in shopping will be harmful to their financial situations so

people

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need priority to buy new things. In conclusion,

people

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tend to buy unnecessary things recently and they think it is like a passion for them. Despite

this

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thinking, in my opinion,

this

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development has more drawbacks and affects

people

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negatively way so society should be aware of what they actually need to buy.

Submitted by muge2k on Wed May 01 2024

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structure

Try to present your arguments more clearly and structure them in paragraphs that logically progress from one to the next.

introduction and conclusion

Include a more distinct introduction and conclusion that clearly state your viewpoint and summarise your main arguments.

addressing the task

To strengthen your task achievement, explicitly address the question of whether shopping as a form of entertainment is a positive or negative development, providing balanced perspectives before concluding with your own opinion.

cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay and make your argumentation more cohesive.

examples

You provided relevant examples to support your points, which adds depth to your argument.

task engagement

Your essay engages with the topic in a way that reflects personal reflection and societal observation, which is good for task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

270 words

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For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labor. Therefore, working hours should be reduced.

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how It will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the Information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In many countries, plastic containers have become more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?