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Band 5

University should offer to choice one subject to students instead giving multi subject . To what extend do you agree with or not?

#university #offer #choice #students #multi
It has become a universal debate that
University's
Change the noun form
universities
University
show examples
 should allow achievers to choose
one
 unit rather than giving them
Add a hyphen
multi-unit
show examples
multi unit
Add a hyphen
multi-unit
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
. I strongly agree that
multi
Add a hyphen
multi-subject
show examples
subject
 approach is the best
one
 as they can get exposure to each field. In the following
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 we will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the multifacet course's pros. To commence with, studying
multi
Correct word choice
multiple
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 will help students to understand
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
each
Change preposition
of each
show examples
 field and later on, which stream they want to pursue.
Moreover
, it will allow them to use their brain as much as possible. It is said that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
"human
Correct article usage
the "human
show examples
 brain is like a machine, the more you use it, the more it gets smooth". On the flip side of the coin, having a single
subject
 to study at the
time
 will limit the student's mind. They will feel no pressure and will get habitual.
Also
, It will take more
time
 to finish studies.
For example
, if a
Mater's
Correct your spelling
master's
show examples
 course is supposed to have 16 subjects in the span of two years and doing
one
subject
 at a
time
 will take 8 years to complete a master's degree which they could do in two years only. So, it will not be wrong to say that it will waste the
studewnt's
Correct your spelling
student's
students
time
. To penetrate,
likelihood
Add an article
the likelihood
show examples
 of
University's
Correct article usage
a University's
show examples
 offer to pick
one
subject
 over
thew
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
multi
Add a hyphen
multi-subject
show examples
subject
 approach is less as
this
 method will limit students. They will not get to practice multiple pressures at a
time
 and will be refined as a person because life throws
vivious
Correct your spelling
vicious
various
 things at you at
one
 moment and the person should be mentally prepared to handle whatever life throws at them.
Submitted by komalnsingh0003 on

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Task Response
Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Your stance seems to support the multi-subject approach, which contradicts the initial argument.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. The general reference to a Master's course is helpful, but adding real-world examples or statistics can greatly enhance your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. Although your essay is structured well, utilizing additional cohesive devices can make your arguments more coherent.
Coherence & Cohesion
Be mindful of minor spelling and grammar mistakes, such as "Mater's course" instead of "Master's course" and consistency in apostrophe usage for "University's offer" versus the correct form "universities offer" or "a university's offer."
Logical Structure
The essay presents a well-structured argument for the multi-subject approach, effectively covering both sides of the debate.
Logical Structure
You've done a good job of using paragraphs to separate your ideas, making the essay easier to follow.
Supported Main Points
Providing a hypothetical example related to the duration of completing a Master's degree effectively illustrates your point about the inefficiency of a single-subject approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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