IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less more money and having more free time what is your opinion.

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It is generally claimed that some people think that having a good income and less free
time
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 is one of the best ways to have a good
life
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 . At the same
time
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, others believe that earning enough money and having more
time
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 for
life
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 is yet another way of living
life
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. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement that having more
time
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 and less money
the
Add a missing verb
is the
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 best option in our
life
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 There are a lot of arguments that having more and less free
time
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 has positive aspects in our daily
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life
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lives
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.
Firstly
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, it facilitates access to more and more financial independence which helps to have the opportunity to buy luxury things and support our family.
Secondly
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, having a higher income leads to exploring new things and getting to experience new cultures.
For
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example
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example,
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 if we have a huge many we can travel around the world and communicate with others.
As a result
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, people who have higher earnings make their dreams come true.
On the other hand
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, a few people believe that having more
time
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 and less
time
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 has a beneficial impact
in
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on
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 our
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life
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lives
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 which allows
for
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apply
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pupils to improve their professional development and emotional growth.
For
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instance
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instance,
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 if we have more
time
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, we can improve our skills and learn new skills by looking for a different job. So, more
time
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 increases the ability to have good mental and physical health which can reduce our stress.
Moreover
Linking Words
, free
time
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bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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 happiness and
wellbeing
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well-being
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 in personal
life
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Therefore
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, it
consequently
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, having more
time
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 and less
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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for
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apply
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us to
get
Verb problem
apply
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enjoy
in
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves in
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 our
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. In conclusion, earning more many e is an essential part
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to understand
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of understanding
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 new
thing
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things
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 and access to our
dream
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dreams
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I believe that having more is very important because we can improve our skills.

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Accuracy
To enhance your essay, make sure to proofread for typographical and grammatical errors. Small mistakes like 'many' instead of 'money', 'less time' instead of 'more money', and other similar errors can distract from your message. A careful review can significantly improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Clarity
Your essay presents a balanced view but tends to slightly confuse the argument by mixing up terms like 'more time and less time'. Clarifying and consistently articulating your stance will strengthen your argument and make your position clearer to the reader.
Development
To further improve, consider adding more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This detail not only enriches your argument but also makes your essay more persuasive and engaging for the reader.
Balanced Argument
You've done a great job of offering viewpoints for both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
Structure
You clearly introduce and conclude your essay, guiding the reader through your argument in a structured manner.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
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