The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in different years

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #years

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The

given

Verb problem

apply

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pie chart illustrates information on how many

people

Use synonyms

from 18-

Change preposition

to 25

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years old

use

Wrong verb form

used

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various types of devices for watching television in one country in 2009 and 2019.

Overall

Linking Words

, there are three devices that showed a decline in use among young

people

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

the other three had a rise in a the percentage of

people

Use synonyms

throughout the time period.

According to

Linking Words

the graph, the number of those who watch TV on a mobile phone increased from 15 to 26% in 2019,

while

Linking Words

the percentage of

tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

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experienced growth from 5 to 19% at the same time period.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the highest rise witnessed the figures for flat-screen

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

and accounted for 27% in 2019.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, there was a significant decline of 30% in the percentage of young

people

Use synonyms

who use conventional TV. The number of

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

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and desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

generally followed the same pattern and a decrease accounted for 8 and 6%, respectively.

Submitted by lobacheva.design on Wed May 01 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

153 words

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in different years

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing, Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviours. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discurss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing,  Do you think this is a positive or negative development?