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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

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In the majority of countries, more and more people are employing their own physical trainers. In, please of playing sport or doing
exercise
Use synonyms
 classes. As a reason they can do it the right way if they can do it with a
trainer
Use synonyms
. There are more pros and developments. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss more positive development. On the one hand, these days people love to live in Morden society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are doing always high-level things. on one side physical trainers are hiring their day-to-day
exercise
Use synonyms
 classes.
For example
Linking Words
, my friend Sumaya needed to go to the gym and she did not understand how to do it well. Because she hired a
coach
Use synonyms
 and did well taking the
coach
Use synonyms
's advice.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
someone
Use synonyms
 who wants to do well knowledge of sports
such
Linking Words
 as cricket can hire a sports
coach
Use synonyms
 for him.
For instance
Linking Words
, My uncle's son he good cricketer at school. So he wants to go national team.
Therefore
Linking Words
, he hired our country's good cricketer and good
coach
Use synonyms
 Lasith Malinga. Now he is a good player and he has started to play national team.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, another one who wants to do sport or
exercise
Use synonyms
 but has financial problems. they can not hire
someone
Use synonyms
. They do it alone on their ground or at home. but it not going too well.
For example
Linking Words
, I am every day doing
exercise
Use synonyms
 at home but it
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
coming
Verb problem
have
show examples
 good fitness rather
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Sumaya.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we have to
hiring
Change the verb
hire
show examples
fitness
Correct article usage
a fitness
show examples
trainer
Use synonyms
 it outcome
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 person. In conclusion,
someone
Use synonyms
 who
hiring
Wrong verb form
hires
show examples
fitness
Correct article usage
a fitness
show examples
trainer
Use synonyms
 is more
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
day by day rather than
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 it alone.if
someone
Use synonyms
 who
hiring
Wrong verb form
hires
show examples
 the
trainer
Use synonyms
 is more
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
 and
coming
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
 out well done person.

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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas more clearly and cohesively, focusing on creating stronger logical connections between them for improved clarity.
coherence cohesion
Focus on developing a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main arguments and perspectives effectively.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Enhance task achievement by ensuring that your response thoroughly addresses all parts of the prompt, including discussing both the reasons and the implications (positive/negative) of the trend.
task achievement
Consider varying your sentence structure and using more precise vocabulary to clarify your points and make the text more engaging.
task achievement
You provide examples to support your points, which helps illustrate your arguments.
task achievement
You engage with the topic and express a clear personal standpoint, contributing to the overall response to the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized workout plans
  • tailored
  • efficient
  • awareness
  • physical health
  • motivation
  • guidance
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • exclusivity
  • status symbol
  • inaccessible
  • community engagement
  • social interaction
  • health outcomes
  • personal achievement
  • health-conscious
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