some people think that to be successful , you need to get in a university degree. where as others say it is not true. discuss both ideas and give your opinion ?

in recent times
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
University
degree is important for those that individual what to work in some company , but some people
calm
Verb problem
say
show examples
they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
need it to be successful they can do
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
whone
Correct your spelling
own
company or something else , and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree with
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
view in
this
essay i will demonstrate that .
to begin
with , we can see
company’s
Change the noun form
companies
company
show examples
need
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
degree
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
for a lot of things to
be understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
how the individual thinks and
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
level of
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
capabilities so in
this
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
university
degree will impact directly
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work if
wil
Correct your spelling
will
accepted
Add a missing verb
be accepted
show examples
or not ,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
some
company’s
Fix the agreement mistake
companies’s
show examples
need an engineer so they
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
to
se
Correct your spelling
see
use
his background in his career.
in
Change preposition
On
show examples
the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
hand , several individuals
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
have the
dgree
Correct your spelling
degree
or they
didint
Correct your spelling
didn't
have the opportunity to get it , in
this
situation we will see
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
can
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
in both negative and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
positive
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
for example
if the individual can be a creative person and make his path to success
such
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
a several successful people in live not all of them had a
dgree
Correct your spelling
degree
like Steve jobs and other like him .
to sum up
,
University
dgree
Correct your spelling
degree
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
important to people
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
want to find
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
in modern life but its not necessary to be a successful person we can see vividly a
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
that
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
life and they didn’t study at
university
.
Submitted by abdulelah.gh3 on

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Introduction
Try to clarify and expand your introduction to provide a clearer overview of your essay's direction. This helps readers understand your stance and the points you plan to discuss.
Structure
Work on the structure and organization of your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples or further explanation. This enhances coherence and cohesion.
Grammar & Spelling
Remember to proofread your writing for grammatical errors and typos. Consistent errors can distract from your message and reduce clarity.
Examples & Details
Including more specific examples and explanations can strengthen your argument. Though you mention Steve Jobs, adding a couple more examples with brief explanations would make your argument more convincing.
Task Response
You've addressed both views of the argument, which is essential for this type of essay.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes your stance clearly, which is a key component of a strong essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • admission policies
  • merit-based admissions
  • diverse student body
  • socio-economic background
  • inclusivity
  • academic standards
  • equal opportunities
  • quota system
  • cultural exchange
  • globalization of education
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