IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people believe that companies behind oil and gas production promote new boundless opportunities while others fear their intrusion in nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #companies #oil #gas #production #opportunities #fear #intrusion #nature
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Numerous
people
 think that firms related to
oil
Correct article usage
the oil
show examples
 and
gas
 industry provide plenty of new chances for development.
However
, some other
people
 are concerned about
companies
'
destractive
Correct your spelling
destructive
distractive
 activities on Earth. I agree with
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 opinion.
This
 essay will describe both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
 in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 paragraphs. On the one hand,
people
 believe that
companies
 behind
oil
 and
gas
production
 bring new opportunities because
oil
 and
gas
 are significant
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
 that are used everywhere, especially in innovative spheres like technology, engineering, and so on.
As a result
, if
oil
 and
gas
production
companies
 did not exist, it would cause
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 to stop its technological improvement.
On the other hand
, other
people
 state that they are worried about
oil
 and
gas
production
 firms' impact on nature
due to
 the fact that
oil
 and
gas
production
destroyes
Correct your spelling
destroys
destroyed
 ecology, earth, and so on, exactly
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is devastating for the Earth.
For example
, during
oil
 transportation, some of
oil
Add an article
the oil
show examples
 is spilled
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the seas, oceans, and rivers and
due to
 that numerous water beings die, causing the appearance of
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
disappearance
Change preposition
of disappearance
show examples
 threat.
As a result
,
oil
 and
gas
companies
 cause the destruction of ecology.
To conclude
, there is a view that
oil
 and
gas
companies
 create new growth possibilities because
oil
 and
gas
 are used to implement technological breakthroughs.
However
, some
people
 state that
effect
Correct article usage
the effect
show examples
 of
oil
 and
gas
 firms' activities is concerning
due to
 the fact that
oil
 and
gas
production
 damages nature.
Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on

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supported main points
Develop your paragraphs further by adding more detailed examples to support your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Clarify and expand your introduction and conclusion to better present your thesis and summarize your argument.
complete response
To improve task achievement, ensure your response thoroughly covers all parts of the task, presents clear opinions, and provides a more detailed analysis.
logical structure
For coherence and cohesion, work on linking ideas more smoothly and using a wider range of linking words.
relevant specific examples
Enhance your essay by providing more specific, detailed examples to support each viewpoint and your own opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Consider revising sentences that may be ambiguous or unclear to ensure your ideas are comprehensively expressed.
task achievement
You did a good job presenting both views as the question asked.
logical structure
Your essay structure is logical, with clear paragraphs discussing different viewpoints.
supported main points
The usage of examples, though they could be more specific, adds value to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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