Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Nowadays,
education
is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
most important key to
archive
Correct your spelling
achieving
show examples
in many
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
and life. Certain humans mindset about the youngers should
be need
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to have
complete
Change the verb form
completed
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
study
until they are at least 18 years old. In my opinion, I partially agree because
people
should complete their
education
but not only that supports in their
entier
Correct your spelling
entire
show examples
life. In
this
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss the acceptance and disacceptance of
education
. The
aggrement
Correct your spelling
agreement
for youngers
study
is
neccassary
Correct your spelling
necessary
in the current era.
Moreover
, young ones should know about the
basic
Fix the agreement mistake
basics
show examples
of all concepts from school because the
education
system covers the fundamental ideas to tackle their typical situation. It gives more career
opportunies
Correct your spelling
opportunities
and ideas to choose their interest.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
this
can increase their reputations.
For instance
, many multinational companies are asking
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
high school marks.
People
who
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
not completed their
education
may suffer to get into the reputed organizations.
On the other hand
, the disagreement for
people
only completing the
study
that should not
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
in their lifelong. In general, those who have interpersonal skills can able to win in several things
such
as games, communication with
leaderships
Change the noun form
leadership
show examples
quality and
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
implementing innovative ideas for society.
For example
, The greatest cricket player
Sachine
Correct your spelling
Sachin
Machine
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
finished only 10th standard but he
archived
Verb problem
achieved
show examples
the
all time
Add a hyphen
all-time
show examples
record in cricket.
Addition
Change preposition
In addition
show examples
to that, he is an inspiration to all young
people
. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
mostly agree in completing
study
is the best recommendation because it supports anytime in life and they get in the career path easily.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Grammar/Spelling
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors as they can impact the clarity of your ideas. Regular practice can help improve these skills.
Paragraph Organization
Work on organizing your paragraphs more effectively to enhance the logical flow of ideas. This can be achieved through clearer topic sentences and more cohesive linking between ideas.
Task Response
To achieve a better score, ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt by developing your points more thoroughly with detailed examples and explanations.
Language Variety
Try to varying your sentence structure more to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
Introduction/Conclusion Clarity
Consider revising your introduction and conclusion to ensure they clearly state your viewpoint and summarize the main ideas of your essay for a stronger impact.
Examples
You've included some relevant examples to support your argument, which adds strength to your essay.
Engagement with Topic
Your essay clearly demonstrates an effort to engage with the topic and consider both sides of the argument, which is a positive aspect of task response.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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