IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In major cities around the world, traffic congestion has become a serious problem. How can this problem be tackled? Give reasons and examples from your own experience

#cities #world #traffic #congestion
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In many huge
cities
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 and urban areas all over the world traffic crowded has become a serious obstacle that has a bad effect on the weather,the environment and pollution,in my opinion,
people
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 have to
use
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 public transportation,in
this
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 essay, we will look into it . On the one hand ,
it is clear that
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 many
cities
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 have started to be crowded and congested
thus
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 the council and politicians decide about
this
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 problem In many
cities
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 folks
use
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 cars for doing personal things or going to work
while
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 it's caused
cities
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 have become more crowded,polluted ,uglier and dirtier,
in addition
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, it's to raise
eart
Correct your spelling
heart
 warming,
furthermore
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people
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 have to stay in traffic line and traffic light for a long time that it's an annoying and dulling sense for every person,next individuals are more patient in busy
cities
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 because they breathe the carbon dioxide into the lungs,so, living in large
cities
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 or countries are more extremely hard .
On the other hand
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, the council have to think about
this
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 problem,for more details, they can decide about using public transportation
for instance
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:the subway,taxi ,bus,bike etc,
further
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 many
people
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 can rent an apartment near the workplace
then
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 they can walk to work ,
further
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 government establish rules for
people
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 don't allow to
use
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 a personal vehicle during the week and just they can
use
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 in the weekend. In conclusion:many massive and large
cities
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 have been polloutioning and crowding , so goverment have to learn about
use
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 public meachine in the Tv program and social media, if a person
use
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 a general system .they will protect to envrioment and ecosystem .
Submitted by pardisghobadi on

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task achievement
Try to ensure that your ideas are clearly expressed and support them with specific, relevant examples. For instance, you could talk about a specific city’s public transport system that works well.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating clearer logical connections between your ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, and there should be smooth transitions between them.
general
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy to make your writing easier to understand. Small mistakes can sometimes obscure your meaning.
coherence cohesion
Good attempt at structuring your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have made a number of valid points about traffic congestion and potential solutions, reflecting a sound understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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