8.Shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drink that have been scientifically proved to be bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the contemporary world, the free rule of economics guarantees retailers the ability to sell
products
that are proven to be detrimental to human well-being.
Therefore
, individuals claim that selling any perilous
products
such
as cigarettes and
alcohol
should be prohibited at
markets
. It is my contention that in order to enhance the longevity of consumers it is utterly important to cease selling items that have a scientific rationale behind them. First and foremost,
although
some
products
are infamous for their toxic and hazardous ingredients, they are still being commercialized by
markets
and wholesalers.
This
is attributable to the exorbitant margin on these life-threatening substances. To cite an example, despite smoking being one of the worst additions which causes the demise of millions of
people
per annum, cigarettes have still been sold by
markets
. I think that by blocking cigarette sales with the help of the Government, the life expectancy of humans will significantly rise so will the
people
around them.
Furthermore
, scientists have now been warning
people
for a very long time about the long-term effects of consuming energy drinks on the human body. Since these
products
are pretty addictive, consumers are struggling to kick their habits out,
thus
, substantially undermining their health. These drinks contain excess amounts of sugar and caffeine which greatly increases the chance of cardiac arrests and heart attacks among consumers. If it was not enough, the legal age required for
people
to purchase these energy
products
is under 18 and it is on a downward trend.
For example
, selling juveniles
such
products
should be treated as a crime as it destroys their future.
Moreover
, it should
also
be acknowledged that in some countries there is no legal age for
alcohol
consumption and kids are falling victim to the thirst traps by
markets
that offer discounts and lower prices in order to make them alcoholics. Bearing in mind the ramifications of drinking
alcohol
, Governments must elucidate a sheer example of resistance against
this
irresponsibility that goes against prevailing societal norms and can have serious health and development consequences. In conclusion, I totally agree that there is no justification for enabling
people
to consume jeopardous
products
like
alcohol
, energy drinks and cigarettes, thereby, every interested party ranging from Government agencies to Private entities should unify their powers to combat the commercialization of these
products
.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Use
To further enhance your essay, consider diversifying your sentence structures and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary. This can help make your arguments more compelling and your writing more engaging.
Task Response
Work on developing both sides of the argument, even if you strongly agree or disagree. This can add depth to your essay and provide a more balanced perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
Examples
You've done an excellent job of providing specific examples to support your points, which greatly strengthens your argument.
Structure
The structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively guides the reader through your argument.
Commitment to Topic
Your commitment to the topic and clear stance throughout the essay is commendable. It shows a good understanding of the task requirements.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: