In today's world, many people spend increasingly less time in their homes. what are the reasons for this? What are the effects of this trend on individuals and society?

These days, a number of individuals spending more and more
time
on their
work
rather than staying at
homes
Fix the agreement mistake
home
show examples
. The two main reasons for
this
are they are overwhelmed by their
work
and they devote more hours to travelling to
work
. The impacts of
this
are they cannot give
time
to their families and
faces
Correct subject-verb agreement
face
show examples
health
problems. There are several factors that contribute to the absence of people in their homes. The primary one is they are busy with their
work
. Most of the companies set
target
Fix the agreement mistake
targets
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their employees, which they have to complete on
time
.
As a result
, workers
work
for long hours to meet their deadlines. Another reason is individuals waste a lot of hours on travel. Nowadays, many cities are
crowed
Correct your spelling
crowded
show examples
due to
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
number of vehicles that
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
large traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
.
Hence
, staff use most of their
time
on travelling to
work
.
For example
, in India, in the mornings, all schools and institutions operate at the same
time
, which causes huge traffic jams and
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
show examples
the movement of vehicles. Some of the bad impacts of these problems that faced by citizens and communities.
Firstly
, families have
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
show examples
time
to spend together. When parents do not give enough attention to their children, they lack
bond
Correct article usage
a bond
show examples
and disconnect with
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
them. Eventually, children will not obey their parents and their discipline and conduct will be questionable.
Secondly
, communities will face
health
issues. when
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
continuously
Add a missing verb
is continuously
show examples
engrossed with air pollution, which contains toxic substances.
Therefore
,
this
leads to acute
health
problems. If people
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
likely to
breath
Replace the word
breathe
show examples
polluted air, they will likely
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
get respiratory diseases. In conclusion, the two main causes of not giving enough
time
to their personal life are they are assigned
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more
work
and
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
travel schedule is more. The impacts of
this
are they cannot give
time
to their families and experience
health
conditions.
Submitted by prasadjul1986 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Proficiency
Consider revising minor grammatical errors and enhancing the variety of your sentence structures for a more sophisticated expression.
Task Response
Including more specific examples and data could strengthen your argument and make your examples more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure clear paragraphing with each paragraph focusing on a single idea, supported by examples or explanations. You've started well on this, but there's always room to refine.
Task Achievement
You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion that address the task directly.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and addresses both parts of the question effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've structured your essay logically, making your argument easy to follow.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • increasingly
  • proliferation
  • recreational activities
  • technological advancements
  • remote communication
  • single-person households
  • social interaction
  • cohesion
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure
  • environmental impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!