In today's world, many people spend increasingly less time in their homes. what are the reasons for this? What are the effects of this trend on individuals and society?

#world #people #time #homes #effects #trend #individuals #society

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These days, a number of individuals spending more and more

time

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on their

work

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rather than staying at

homes

Fix the agreement mistake

home

show examples

. The two main reasons for

this

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are they are overwhelmed by their

work

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and they devote more hours to travelling to

work

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. The impacts of

this

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are they cannot give

time

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to their families and

faces

Correct subject-verb agreement

face

show examples

health

Use synonyms

problems. There are several factors that contribute to the absence of people in their homes. The primary one is they are busy with their

work

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. Most of the companies set

target

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targets

show examples

Change preposition

for

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their employees, which they have to complete on

time

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As a result

Linking Words

, workers

work

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for long hours to meet their deadlines. Another reason is individuals waste a lot of hours on travel. Nowadays, many cities are

crowed

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crowded

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due to

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growing

Correct article usage

the growing

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number of vehicles that

causes

Correct subject-verb agreement

cause

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large traffic

jam

Fix the agreement mistake

jams

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Hence

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, staff use most of their

time

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on travelling to

work

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For example

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, in India, in the mornings, all schools and institutions operate at the same

time

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, which causes huge traffic jams and

prevent

Correct subject-verb agreement

prevents

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the movement of vehicles. Some of the bad impacts of these problems that faced by citizens and communities.

Firstly

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, families have

fewer

Correct quantifier usage

less

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time

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to spend together. When parents do not give enough attention to their children, they lack

bond

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a bond

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and disconnect with

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

them. Eventually, children will not obey their parents and their discipline and conduct will be questionable.

Secondly

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, communities will face

health

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issues. when

public

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the public

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continuously

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is continuously

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engrossed with air pollution, which contains toxic substances.

Therefore

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this

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leads to acute

health

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problems. If people

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are more

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likely to

breath

Replace the word

breathe

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polluted air, they will likely

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

get respiratory diseases. In conclusion, the two main causes of not giving enough

time

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to their personal life are they are assigned

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

work

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and

they

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

travel schedule is more. The impacts of

this

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are they cannot give

time

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to their families and experience

health

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conditions.

Submitted by prasadjul1986 on Thu May 02 2024

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Language Proficiency

Consider revising minor grammatical errors and enhancing the variety of your sentence structures for a more sophisticated expression.

Task Response

Including more specific examples and data could strengthen your argument and make your examples more compelling.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure clear paragraphing with each paragraph focusing on a single idea, supported by examples or explanations. You've started well on this, but there's always room to refine.

Task Achievement

You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion that address the task directly.

Task Achievement

Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and addresses both parts of the question effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

You've structured your essay logically, making your argument easy to follow.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

increasingly
proliferation
recreational activities
technological advancements
remote communication
single-person households
social interaction
cohesion
urban planning
infrastructure
environmental impact

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In today's world, many people spend increasingly less time in their homes. what are the reasons for this? What are the effects of this trend on individuals and society?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

many people use distance-learning programs (study materials, the internet, and so on) to study at home, but some think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending school, college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think the news has no connection to people's lives, so then it is a waste of time to read the news in the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree