IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#price #fuel
Some
people
 think that
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of
fuel
 higher is the more suitable approach to
adress
Correct your spelling
address
 natural issues. I am afraid that I will
be disagree
Change the verb form
disagree
show examples
 with
this
 statement.
Firstly
,
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
price
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fuel
 can harm
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the community that
depended
Wrong verb form
depends
show examples
 on it. Most of the developing countries
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
fuel
 as their main
sourse
Correct your spelling
source
 of
energy
 for transportation,
thus
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 increased
price
 of
fuel
 can lead high cost of shipping and travel. Affects like that may put residents of these countries in
unpleasend
Correct your spelling
unpleasant
 economic
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
.
For example
, in my country main
energy
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
middle and
low class
Add a hyphen
low-class
show examples
people
's vehicles is methane. But recently our government
decide
Wrong verb form
has decided
show examples
 to
restirct
Correct your spelling
restrict
this
fuel
 in order to make
people
 choose the new
electricial
Correct your spelling
electrical
electric
 cars.
In
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
this
 policy only
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 the fares more expensive, since most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
was
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 not able to buy costly electric cars.
Secondly
, governments should encourage
pruduction
Correct your spelling
production
 of new
environmetally
Correct your spelling
environmentally
 friendly
energy
 and technologies that
Add a missing verb
are releated
show examples
releated
Correct your spelling
related
relate
 to
this
 matter.
Instead
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
radical changes
such
 as
increse
Correct your spelling
increasing
price
 of the
fuel
, politics must support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
green
energy
 and transportation
infrastucture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 by integrating new advanced technology
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the community.
Furthermore
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 may achieve
eco-cleaniness
Correct your spelling
eco-cleanliness
 via harnessing natural powers
such
 as wind,sun ,
Add an article
a wave
the wave
show examples
wave
Fix the agreement mistake
waves
show examples
 of the seas and
ecxatura
Correct your spelling
extra
.
For instance
, nowadays sun panels become more common in my country because of government has marked
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 amount of
subsidias
Correct your spelling
subsidies
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 technology.
To conclude
,
although
this
 might be costly to introduce new technology into
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
, as far as I
now
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
 it is more helpful to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature than making
fuel
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 high.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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Structure
Revise essay structure to enhance clarity. Include a clear introduction with your thesis statement, cohesive paragraphs, and a concluding statement that summarizes your argument and reiterates your position.
Grammar & Punctuation
Correct grammatical errors and work on punctuation. Use appropriate connectors to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Argumentation
Develop and expand your arguments with more diverse examples and deeper analysis to strengthen your position.
Evidence
Avoid generalized statements without specific examples or evidence. Incorporate relevant examples to support your ideas and arguments.
Task Understanding
Work on paraphrasing the essay prompt more accurately to avoid misunderstanding. Clear and accurate restatement of the prompt in the introduction sets a solid foundation for your essay.
Positioning
You've taken a clear position on the topic, which is good for establishing your argument.
Real-World Example
Use of real-world example to support your argument enhances the credibility of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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