People can live and work anywhere they want to choose, because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

#people #work #communication #technology #transport #development

It has been observed that urban people can select to live and work in places they want,

due to

the development of communication technology and vehicle. Despite the numerous arguments surrounding

this

topic, my viewpoint on

this

issue is that

merits

Correct article usage

the merits

show examples

this

matter surpass its possible drawbacks. The advantages of the improvement of talking

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

and traffic are undeniable and manifold. The first benefit is that it exposes us to great house resources and

colorful

Change the spelling

colourful

show examples

experiences, which

stiumlates

Correct your spelling

stimulates

stimulate

stimulated

us to be more active, and broaden our horizons. We may

also

be motivated

Change preposition

show examples

existing norms and values, and even generate breakthrough innovations and achievements.

Secondly

, it is undeniable that

growth

Correct article usage

the growth

show examples

of speaking

technique

Fix the agreement mistake

techniques

show examples

and transportation in a country is a commendable

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

that can generate positive outcomes for individuals and society.

This

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

manifests social responsibility and

humanitarian

Correct article usage

a humanitarian

show examples

spirit. As

this

not only enhances the relationship between people, but

also

beneficial

Replace the word

benefits

show examples

their daily travel.

For example

, a person and their friends living in different cities can

also

see each other's faces through mobile phone videos, or see each other at the fastest speed with taking a plane.

However

, there is a disadvantage is that paying extra for

talking

Verb problem

apply

show examples

technology research or travel, may exert unexpected financial pressure upon citizens,

especiallly

Correct your spelling

especially

those in developing regions, where the income level and living standard are relatively low.

This

may cause them to suffer from financial stress and hardship, which could affect their quality of life and well-being.

Furthermore

, one of the possible solutions to

this

problem is to allocate more funds to the community services and government sectors. By increasing the capital inflow, people can gain car discounts and free calls. In summary, I believe that the benefits of

this

matter largely surpass the drawbacks, as it possesses remarkable advantages and the demerits are manageable.

Submitted by cathyielts22 on Fri May 03 2024

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Vocabulary Development

Keep working on using a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more accurately. While 'talking equipments' and 'growth of speaking technique' convey the intended meaning, terms like 'communication technology' and 'development of transportation systems' could provide a clearer and more professional expression.

Sentence Variety

Try to provide more diverse sentence structures to enhance readability and coherence. While your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task, variety in sentence construction can make your arguments more engaging.

Relevance of Examples

Ensure that your examples and points are directly related to the topic. While the reference to mobile phone videos and plane travel is relevant, further elaboration on how these specifically impact living and working choices would strengthen your argument.

Balanced Argument

Your essay clearly addresses both the advantages and disadvantages, maintaining a balanced view throughout.

Effective Conclusion

You successfully conclude your essay by restating your viewpoint, which helps in reinforcing your argument effectively.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People can live and work anywhere they want to choose, because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Research shows that business meetings, discussions and trainings are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? What solutions can be offered.

Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this?

Some parents believe that learning mathematics at schools is redundant and should not be taught while others believe that it should remain a foundational subject whether or not it is used in later life. Discuss both sides.